Planning Your Wedding- Tips for Dealing with an Overbearing Mother-In-Law
Your mother-in-law is probably the perfect helper when it comes to planning your wedding, isn’t she? Truth be told, sometimes dealing with family members can be a challenge when planning your wedding, and mother-in-laws are typically the family member you will have a challenge with. If you follow some basic tips you will get more of what you want, have a better relationship with your mother-in-law and be less likely to turn gray while planning your wedding.
She Really Does Mean Well
Mother-in-laws can often be overbearing with their input in your wedding plans. Their son is getting married, and they have their own ideas of what a proper wedding should look like. Remember that most mother-in-laws really do mean well. Keep reminding yourself that when you think she is just trying to butt into your life. It’s better to try and be diplomatic than to start fighting with your new mom.
Make Her Feel Good
Your mother-in-law might mean well but if her plans don’t match up with yours you have a problem. Sit down with your mother-in-law and politely tell her thanks, but no thanks. Tell her nicely that you know what you want and you really appreciate her input. Think of parts of your wedding that she can help with that won’t make a difference on your wedding day. For example perhaps your mother-in-law can be in charge of the out of town guests and can help them plan for their stay. Or assign her the task of helping with the rehearsal dinner. Pick one or two things that are important that she can help with and hopefully she will be too busy working on those tasks, and won’t bother you about more important aspects of the wedding.
If you find yourself constantly arguing with your mother-in-law during the planning process, it may be better to limit your communication so that your differences don’t escalate further. If she calls, send it to voicemail. Send her an email and tell her you missed her call and see if you can communicate that way. Remember that this isn’t a lifetime arrangement. After the wedding the stress level for you and her will deflate and you can work on repairing the relationship.
Planning your wedding is stressful enough and you really don’t need the added tension of arguing with your mother-in-law about the wedding plans. Remember not to make rash decisions that you will regret later. Think before you speak, and try to compromise when possible. If your mother in law is helping pay for the wedding, have a discussion with your new in laws and set the expectations that while you really appreciate the financial help, you have some ideas of how you want your day to be. Your wedding planning is the beginning of the rest of your life with your groom, but also the beginning of the relationship with your mother-in-law. By being diplomatic and avoiding unnecessary fighting with your mother-in-law you will have a better relationship with your groom, as well as your future in-laws.
- Wedding Ceremony Materials – For Creating The Special Day Unforgettable (frommyexperience.com)
- Selfish mothers-in-law spend more to upstage bride (telegraph.co.uk)