The Truth About Bridesmaids Dresses

“You will be able to wear it again”.

One of the biggest lies ever told about bridesmaids’ dresses.  This tall tale has been passed on for ages and the time has come to put an end to it.  It can be said that just about any woman, aged 30 and under,  has had  in her possession at least two bridesmaid’s dresses hanging in a dark corner, way in back of her closet.   And what about the matching shoes?  Let’s not even go there!   In the past, especially up until the mid 80’s, bridesmaids dresses were easily recognized, due to their pastel colors, huge bows on the butt, shiny fabrics and profusion of lace oozing from every sleeve, collar and hem.  We challenge these women to get up the nerve to wear these one-time wonders to any other function without feeling the least bit self-conscious.  Yes, bridemaid’s dresses have evolved over the years; and most now can be described as being in some kind of in-between “style limbo“…not quite looking like a bridemaid’s  dress, but still not something to be worn to any other important function.  This is especially true if the bride’s circle of friends is small, and attend many of the same social events.   Who wants to risk being seen in the same get-up?

The cold hard fact is this:  No matter what she may tell you, bridesmaids dresses are more often than not, chosen by the bride and selected with only one day in mind:  Her wedding day.  This is hardwired into her bridal subconscious.   She is unable to help herself, and so should be forgiven. Sure, she may feel guilty about the cost, but usually not at the expense of giving up her dream wedding ideas.   Any potential bridesmaid should be aware of this, and if the request is reasonable enough, be prepared to “suck it up”.

However, this doesn’t leave the bride “off the hook” completely.  She should be sensitive enough to consider each attendant’s best features, and choose colors, styles and fabrics that complement them as a whole.  It may also be a wise move for the bride to organize a meeting and have a civilized group discussion prior to selection.  Fabric swatches and a variety of styles should be made available for study; and if there are any out-of-town attendants, samples and photos should also be dispatched to them as quickly as possible.   In this way, a consensus can be made.

Let’s face it:  In all honesty, the odds of wearing these dresses again are most likely slim to none.   However, the fun and hilarity that goes along with the dress selection process can create memories that will last a lifetime; and  that for entertainment value alone, history will eventually show that it was  a couple hundred of dollars well spent.  Don’t believe me?  Go back and take a look at your mother’s wedding album.

Can’t Get Over the Royal Wedding?

Here’s How to Bring Some Windsor Magic Back Home.

If you’re still burning with Royal Wedding fever, you’re far from alone. And if you’d like a little of that imperial glamour to spark things up your own wedding, then there’s no reason at all not to take some style hints from Britain’s It Couple. After all, as the Bishop of London famously remarked, “all weddings are royal.” Here’s how to make sure yours is exactly that!

Baby Bridesmaids
The European take on bridesmaids tends to involve pint-sized versions of our own. Is there anything cuter than a gaggle of cherubs in curls and formal dresses, tottering down the aisle? Nothing against the grown ladies we see here, but when it comes to the cutest entourage out there, we think the little girls have it.

Nature, Inside and Out
One of Kate’s special requests was to have live potted trees (and we mean trees … they were 20 feet high!) line the aisle of Westminster Abbey. This served to soften an intimidating structure, and brought a cozy “English country garden” feel to some very formal proceedings. Kate’s sisters across the water are just as crazy for tying the knot in natural settings, so if a garden or vineyard wedding is calling your name, just consider that a sign of your high-born taste.

A Demure Dress
Designers everywhere breathed a concerted sigh of relief when they saw Kate’s Grace Kelly-influenced gown. Why the excitement? The hope that brides, at last, will tire of regulation strapless. Kate’s lovely gown has the potential to create a tipping point, as interest in alternatives has been rising. Case in point? The new illusion necklines and tulle sleeves showcased in recent designs by Pronovias, Enzoani, Priscilla of Boston and my personal favorite, Claire Pettibone.

Of course, if you want the closest thing to Kate’s actual dress and not one merely dipping a toe in the same aesthetics, not to worry: you’ve doubtless heard that A.B.S. by Allen Schwartz and JS Collections (look for the “Duchess” dress) are both bringing brazen knockoffs to a department store near you.

Groom’s Cake
Brides went wild for groom’s cakes this year, and we’ll see plenty of them in 2012, too. Similarly, the groom’s cake stole the show at Kate and Wills’ wedding. Sure, the “official” cake was a tour-de-force fruitcake with 17 layers … but it was the death-by-chocolate groom’s cake (involving 35 pounds of chocolate and over 1500 cookies) that Prince William zeroed in on to satisfy his royal sweet tooth.

A Traditional Bouquet
VIPs have been known to be saddled with monstrous bouquets you can barely hold, but by royal standards, Kate’s was a modest mixture of rather unshowy blooms … and yet another homage to the humble English garden. A laid-back mixture of lily of the valley, hyacinth and Sweet William, her fragrant bouquet revealed her refinement all the more … not least when it was finally placed at the Abbey’s sacred Grave of the Unknown Warrior.

Stateside brides are increasingly on board with Kate’s enthusiasm for the traditional all-white bridal bouquet. Former worries about the bouquet blending into the gown in pics have evaporated, now that pro cameras pick up every shade and nuance, and brides are loving the traditional “bridey-ness” of all-white blooms popping against some cool green foliage.

Something Borrowed
As today’s brides strive to embed more personal meaning and DIY touches in their big day, the importance of something borrowed has loomed bigger than ever. Sure, yours might not be a 1936 Cartier “halo” tiara lent by a queen, but almost every bride can pinch something truly meaningful from a sister, friend or mother. The old bit of magic in this tradition is to get a love boost from a happily-married couple that’s gone ahead, so go for it: proudly wear your grandmother’s locket or handkerchief, your sister’s veil, your best friend’s drop earrings, or a scrap of your mother’s wedding dress that’s pinned to your slip or wrapped around your bouquet stems.

About the Author: FavorIdeas.com has connected brides with the perfect favors and wedding themes since 2005. From our silk favor fans to our wide variety of personalized bridal shower and baby favors, FavorIdeas has helped thousands of brides convey this heartfelt message: “thank you for sharing in our special day.”

Bridal Shower Themes

One of the jobs of a bridesmaid is to help throw a bridal shower for the bride. Depending on your personality, this can either be a very fun task, or a very daunting one. If you are not accustomed to entertaining, you may not know where to begin.

A great way to give a party a distinctive style is to pick a theme. The theme is some idea or design element that you choose to help bring the whole event together. It is fine to be eclectic, but you do not want to host a bridal shower that seems to have no direction or unified look. The theme will give you ideas about the invitations, decorations, food, music, games, and maybe even the gift.

There are some themes that are very traditional for bridal showers. One popular idea is a kitchen based shower. It dates back to the time when it was expected that every wife would be a homemaker. In considering this type of old-fashioned theme today, it is important to know the bride well. If she is a real “foodie”, then no doubt some gifts from the gourmet cooking shop would thrill her. However, if the bride is very career-oriented and has no interest in cooking, she might be insulted by a kitchen themes bridal shower.

These days it is more common to pick the theme based on the bride’s interests or her personal style. For instance, I once co-hosted a bridal shower for a very dear friend who loved cherries (she even had a tattoo of a cherry on her shoulder). We chose invitations with a cherry pattern on them, had dishes of chocolate covered cherries, and for the favors, I handmade soap with a cherry design. Of course, not everything at the shower was based on cherries; we served many of her favorite foods, and chose flowers in her favorite color combination, purple and orange. Remember to use your theme as a starting point, but not to take it over the top.

You can also use the bride’s wedding as an idea for the bridal shower. For example, if she is having a destination wedding, then why not throw a beach themed shower? It would be a great warm-up to the main event. You could send invitations with seashells or starfish on them, fill hurricane lanterns with shells and white candles for decorations, and ask all of the guests to bring a beach themed gift. The bridesmaids might even chip in together on a special present, such as a piece of handmade jewelry for the bride to wear at her wedding. For a destination wedding, a casual piece of wedding jewelry handmade with organic pearl wedding jewelry would be a great idea.

Another source of ideas for a bridal shower could be the bride’s background. Let’s say that the bride is a Southern belle who has relocated to New York City. She would be touched to have a shower that featured her favorite Southern things. You could serve regional foods and decorate with magnolias floating in water.

The most important thing to remember when choosing a theme for a bridal shower is that it should look like the bride. This is not the occasion to inject the taste of the hosts. Ask yourself, “would the bride love this?”, and if the answer is yes, you will know that you have found the perfect theme.

Look to Bridget for advice on planning your wedding. Check out how we can help with your bridesmaids jewelry at SilverlandJewelry.com. Handmade wedding jewelry is a beautiful and thoughtful gift.

Profile of a Halloween Wedding

This is going to be a snark-free post – just so you know.  If you want the customary snark, toddle on over to the weird laws site because we’ve been plenty snarky on that one lately.

Last year I was honored to attend an unconventional kind of wedding.  In fact, my hubs was part of the wedding party.  The wedding took place on Halloween, and I decided that since the happy couple’s one year anniversary approacheth, that that I would not only tell you about the happy day, I’d let the bride do it.  Megan was nice enough to answer some questions for me and send me some photos, so enjoy!

1.  What made you choose Halloween as your wedding date?

I absolutely adore Halloween! It has always been my favorite holiday. The dressing up, the scary decorations, the fall weather and of course, fall foods, like sweet potatoes! My daughters are the same way and dressing up is just plain fun! You can be all the things that aren’t “real” the other 364 days of the year.  And everyone knows Jamie loves anything dark and gory! Add to that our family’s love of anything macabre and you get the perfect day for our wedding. Not to mention it is an easy date for the groom to remember! The movie “The Corpse Bride” sealed the deal, it was the inspiration for the whole thing.

2.  Who did you choose to officiate your ceremony, and how did you know him/her?

Leighton Paquette preformed the ceremony. My aunt introduced him to us. The amazing thing was, I really only got to talk to him a couple of times. Maybe the longest conversation was an hour. And yet he nailed it. Jamie and I aren’t your typical couple. We’re square pegs trying to fit into a world of round holes. And Leighton got that. It wasn’t your typical stuffy or religious ceremony, it was ours and it was perfect. He said let him know if you have any questions for him. However,he wasn’t licensed to make it legal so another friend of the family who is filled out our marriage license.

3.  What was the significance of having your wedding on Halloween?

LOL we got to dress up and be yet ourselves and for once no one gave us strange looks for it. I’ve always felt like Halloween is an opportunity for those of us who are a little…..out there, to be truly free of society’s expectations for one night.

4.  What did you choose as your attire for the wedding and why?

I wanted to go with something fairy like but without dealing with wings. My mother, Debbie deTreville, is a wonderful seamstress, and she and my step-father, Jason Allen, designed a beautiful dress just by listening to me babble about a few I had seen that I liked. I wanted fairy-tale without the poofy Cinderella dress. It was a beautiful royal purple with iridescent wing like pieces attached at the upper arms and wrists. They both worked incredibly hard until the wee hours of the morning to get everything completed on time. They also did almost all of the decorations and all of the flowers. Jason (Jae) also carved several exquisite pumpkins to grace the tables.

5.  What did the groom choose as his attire for the wedding and why?

Jamie wore a black suit and red shirt and black top hat with a skull topped cane. He chose that mainly because I wouldn’t let him wear jeans and the “tuxedo t-shit”. However, he looked wonderful in it. He picked it all out himself and I have to say, his taste was fabulous.

6.  What were your instructions to your wedding party as to how they should dress?

We told them to wear whatever costume they wanted only to keep in mind there would be children in attendance. As lond as no one dressed like a bride or groom we were fine with it. We ended up with 2 Greek goddesses, a Renaissance princess, and a disco diva as bridesmaids, and a bodyguard, a convict, a pirate and Einstein as groomsman. Our oldest Samantha was a perfect little fairy flower-girl and the younger one, Jessica, was a spooky skeleton fairy ring bearer, which was all their idea and matched their personalities. My grandfather gave me away as Grandpa Munster aka Dracula. It was all so perfect!

7.  What were your requests/suggestions to your wedding guests as to how they should dress?

We asked everyone to either choose a costume or to wear something afternoon wedding appropriate. We did however, ask that everyone be respectful of the children who would be in attendance and not wear anything too scary or risky. As it turned out, everyone who turned up was in  costume except a couple grandparents who wore church clothes, and with the rest of the costumes floating around, they looked like it was a purposeful Halloween choice.

8.  What type of music did you choose for the reception?

A very eclectic mix spun out by my dad, Kevin Carter who also helped my Aunt Kerstan with photos. we tried to stick with classic rock and roll and a few Halloween themed songs. Since it was a pretty neutral ground for me and Jamie.

9.  What was your first dance song and why?

“Always with me Always with you” by Joe Satriani.

Jamie introduced that song to me early in our relationship and it just became our song. He even used to play parts from it for me on the guitar.

10.  After one year of wedded bliss, how do you plan to celebrate your anniversary?

Maybe with a night out just the two of us….that’s a rare enough occurrence. Trick-or-Treating with the kids will top off our weekend.

Thank you, Megan, for telling us about your special day, and for letting our readers know that it’s fine to be yourself and do what YOU want to do on your wedding day.

Related articles

• How to Choose a Wedding Theme (weddingsetups.com)
• Traditional wedding ceremony of ethnic minority in northern Vietnam (lookatvietnam.com)
• Choosing gifts for your Wedding Groomsmen (weddingsetups.com)
• Top 10 Posts from 2010, Continued (budgetawedding.com)

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