Planning Your Wedding- Tips for Dealing with an Overbearing Mother-In-Law

August 24, 2011 by  
Filed under Wedding Planning

A Parsee Wedding

Your mother-in-law is probably the perfect helper when it comes to planning your wedding, isn’t she? Truth be told, sometimes dealing with family members can be a challenge when planning your wedding, and mother-in-laws are typically the family member you will have a challenge with. If you follow some basic tips you will get more of what you want, have a better relationship with your mother-in-law and be less likely to turn gray while planning your wedding.

She Really Does Mean Well

Mother-in-laws can often be overbearing with their input in your wedding plans. Their son is getting married, and they have their own ideas of what a proper wedding should look like. Remember that most mother-in-laws really do mean well. Keep reminding yourself that when you think she is just trying to butt into your life.  It’s better to try and be diplomatic than to start fighting with your new mom.

Make Her Feel Good

Your mother-in-law might mean well but if her plans don’t match up with yours you have a problem. Sit down with your mother-in-law and politely tell her thanks, but no thanks. Tell her nicely that you know what you want and you really appreciate her input. Think of parts of your wedding that she can help with that won’t make a difference on your wedding day. For example perhaps your mother-in-law can be in charge of the out of town guests and can help them plan for their stay. Or assign her the task of helping with the rehearsal dinner. Pick one or two things that are important that she can help with and hopefully she will be too busy working on those tasks, and won’t bother you about more important aspects of the wedding.

Avoid Trouble

If you find yourself constantly arguing with your mother-in-law during the planning process, it may be better to limit your communication so that your differences don’t escalate further. If she calls, send it to voicemail. Send her an email and tell her you missed her call and see if you can communicate that way. Remember that this isn’t a lifetime arrangement. After the wedding the stress level for you and her will deflate and you can work on repairing the relationship.

Planning your wedding is stressful enough and you really don’t need the added tension of arguing with your mother-in-law about the wedding plans. Remember not to make rash decisions that you will regret later. Think before you speak, and try to compromise when possible. If your mother in law is helping pay for the wedding, have a discussion with your new in laws and set the expectations that while you really appreciate the financial help, you have some ideas of how you want your day to be. Your wedding planning is the beginning of the rest of your life with your groom, but also the beginning of the relationship with your mother-in-law. By being diplomatic and avoiding unnecessary fighting with your mother-in-law you will have a better relationship with your groom, as well as your future in-laws.

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What Not To Do At A Wedding Shower

January 25, 2011 by  
Filed under Wedding Humor

Wedding showers are all about the bride.  Sometimes you know her really well and the shower is a happy, fun-filled occasion.  Other times, you barely know the girl and you have no idea how to act, what to get her, or what to say.  In each situation and every one in between, here is a cardinal list of rules of what not to do at ANY wedding shower.

Unless it’s ONE OF THOSE Showers, Stay Away from Inappropriate Gifts

blushing
Unless the shower is designated for gifts of the *ahem* more intimate nature, stay away from sex toys and risque lingerie.  One famous story is floating around the internet that regards a ninety-year-old grandmother who was so offended at a shower gift that she spit her dentures out and stormed away.  We want to avoid offended grandmothers.

Keep Your History To Yourself

love-triangle
There are countless stories out there about girls who attend the bridal showers of women who are marrying their ex boyfriends.  Maybe that’s not clear, so let’s put it into second person narrative.  You’re at a shower.  The girl who is getting married is getting married to a guy you used to date.  Whatever you do, do not talk about your relationship with this girl’s groom-to-be.  It’s in poor taste and makes everyone feel awkward.

Other Don’ts

Don’t:

tell dirty jokes
get naked
encourage anybody else to get naked
get wasted
get wasted and  naked
be mean to the  bride
be mean to the bride’s mother, grandmother, sister, best friend, etc.

If you follow these simple rules, you should be fine.  If you think of something other than one of these things to do to offend people, PULEASE write to tell me about it.