Rule #1:  Don’t.  I repeat DO NOT get your eyebrows waxed or attempt to wax your own eyebrows the day before your wedding.  Don’t do it.  I’m serious.

photo by ladybug_3777

Do this, and any other drastic hair removal, a good week before the big day.  If you have a straggler or two, remove them CAREFULLY with tweezers.  If you forget altogether (like I did), for all that is sacred and holy LET YOUR BROWS BE BUSHY.  Do not try to tweeze off a few months worth of eyebrow growth the day before the wedding and DON’T wax or even go to a salon to get waxed.  Trust me, a few stray eyebrow hairs beats the heck out of burned eyelids, bumpy forehead, or, in extreme cases, the loss of a part of your eyebrow.

Same goes for leg waxing, bikini waxing, getting a haircut, changing your hair color, getting a spray tan, getting a facial, exfoliating vigorously, and any type of plastic surgery.  Don’t go all crazy and end up looking like a freakazoid in your wedding pictures.  You’ll thank me for this one day.

Rule #2:  Don’t get plastered.  Don’t get drizzunk.  Don’t get hammered.  Trust me.

photo by chairman moneko

It’s natural to feel nervous about your big day.  A lot of folks calm their nerves with a drink or two.  A drink or two is just fine.  A drink or twelve is not.  Not only does getting drunk the night before your wedding lead to things like drunk dialing, vomiting, bad decisions and hangovers, it also dehydrates your body, making you look all bloated and puffy the next day.  So even if you think you can keep your head about you, think about how your head will look the next day with puffy, bloodshot eyes and bad breath.  Don’t do it.

Rule #3:  Don’t sleep with the best man, your friend from high school, your ex boyfriend, your second cousin (ew!) or anybody you don’t plan to walk down the aisle with the next day.

photo by Pere Nadal

It happens all the time in movies.  It’s the person’s “last night of freedom” and they decide to have a “final hurrah” before the big day.  Notice that in movies it never works out in the favor of the people who are getting married.  There’s a reason for that.  If you’re inclined to do it with somebody else, you shouldn’t be getting married.  No matter how badly you broke Rule #2.  Keep it in your pants until the honeymoon.

There.  Don’t you feel better now that you have some guidelines?  Here are a few more.  Also do not:

• Eat Taco Bell
• Borrow a large sum of money (it’s bad to start a marriage with debt)
• Gamble your honeymoon money away
• Decide to confess all your dirty secrets to your fiance (you should have done that months ago, yo)
• Go do “Amateur Night” at the local strip joint
• Do hallucinogenic drugs
• Kill anybody
• Drag race
• Skydive
• Swim with sharks

Common sense is key in any situation.  If you don’t have any of your own, you can borrow mine.  If you have any doubt about what you should or should not do before your wedding, leave a comment and I’ll answer it.  Hey, I’m a people person!

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