Worst Bridesmaid Dresses

Bridesmaid.  The word has varying effects on people, depending on their past experiences.  For some, it was an honor just to be asked.  For others, it was a taffeta nightmare.

Some brides choose bridesmaid dresses that they are absolutely sure their bridesmaids will look terrible in.  That’s called, “I have low self esteem and want to make sure I’m the prettiest one in my pictures.”  Other brides have some bridesmaids that will look good in a particular dress, and others who WON’T look good in it.  “It’s not on purpose, Amy.  You’re just fat, is all.”

Other times, brides will choose bridesmaid dresses that they think are absolutely beautiful.  They’d be happy to wear the dress, if they were not the bride, but only a mere bridesmaid.  “And the best thing about it is you can shorten it and wear it again.”  Right?  RIGHT?

Just because it’s fun, and because we sometimes all need a laugh, here are some bridesmaid dresses that are sure to make you glad she DIDN’T ask you.

This is an easy one to start off on, because this picture is clearly from the seventies, and those dresses are probably still in tact somewhere, because that grade of polyester has the shelf life of a Twinkie.  And you know about Twinkies.

Again, we can chalk this up to the crazy days of hallucinogenic drugs and free love.  I just wonder why that one lady on the end got to wear a cape.  Where are all the rest of the capes?  That’s what that brown -haired lady on the other end is thinking, “Where the … is my cape?”

This one might be even older, but I think that any bride that forces you to dress like Mrs. Claus deserves to have a little Ex Lax slipped into her egg nog.  Just sayin’.

This might very well be from the Eighties, but to me this picture is like one of those “Can you find all the things that are wrong in this picture” things.  Yes.  Yes I can.

The only thing that would make this OK is if they just came from their dance recital.

And what you can’t see is the knife in the bridesmaid’s OTHER hand.

And all of the sudden there were a lot of very cold Solid Gold dancers…

And because of this dress, this is the only bridesmaid that showed up.  No, seriously though.  There was only enough fabric for one dress – IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Wha?

Forsooth and verily.  I think I’m gonna puke.

there’s this

and this

and this.  Now tulle is extinct and satin is on the endangered list.

like you do.

Notice that the bride is wearing camouflage.  That means those dresses are “safety” or “blaze” orange.  Presumably so nobody shoots the bridesmaids during the ceremony.

At the reception, however, all bets are off.

Come on.  Really?

The brunette looks embarrassed, and we can’t even see her face.

Yet, strangely, none of these people look embarrassed.

And neither do any of these people.  Can you imagine the phone call on this one?  “Amy, will you be a bridesmaid in my wedding?”  “Um, I don’t really have enough money for  a dress.”  “Oh, that’s OK.  You’ll just need to wear black pumps, a g-string, and some pasties.”  “Wow.  It’s so nice of you to let us wear what we just wear to work.”  “Oh, it’s no problem.  The hat I’m wearing is so amazing that nobody will even notice your nakedness, so I’m sorry about that, but at least Joey’s going to wear his stripey socks and that Elvis clown mask he wore when he got arrested for snorting sand that time.”  “Oh yeah.  Joey’s such a trip.  See you at the wedding!”

What?  I make my own fun.  I swiped a lot of these pictures from Tacky Weddings.  Stay classy.

Lauren and J.P.’s Music Video – A Discussion With Myself

Face it. Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life. You’ll want to remember it in every way possible. You’ll want more photographs than were taken. You’ll want more video than you have. You’ll want many, many reminders.

So why not pay some hipster DJ to mix up and edit a video of your wedding and turn it into some weirdo music video? Sure! Because you don’t want to remember the day as it WAS. You want to remember it the way that some guy in skinny jeans mixed it in his uber hip studio (or mom’s garage) a few days after the wedding. Right?

Lauren + JP from Matt Odom on Vimeo.

Actually, the video is pretty cute, and the couple is from La Grange, GA, which is a super cute little town. I spent a week there one day. But seriously folks. It is a cute town. As for the video…I’d be curious to hear what Lauren and J.P. think after about 6 or 7 years, wouldn’t you? It will either be a “Gee, Honey. I’m soooo glad we did that” situation, or it will be like when you’re twelve and you’re at the beach, and your friend talks you into going into one of those “Make Your Own Music Video” places where they have, like, two props and you two get up and sing “The Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston followed by a rousing rendition of “Walk Like an Egyptian” whilst dancing all willy nilly and then 6 or 7 years later you find the tape and you accidentally watch it in front of your boyfriend who promptly dumps you. Except for in Lauren and J.P.’s situation, that will be their 3 or 4 year old. Who might think it’s cool. But then will surely, in many years, show it to all their snotty teenager friends, who will be like, “What was that band, anyway?”

In other words, is this something that will be cherished. Is it a lasting treasure? Or just a moment’s pleasure?

But seriously. Props to Matt Odom, who just went for it. You go, Matt.

Spring and Summer Wedding Favors are Hot Hot Hot

2010 Spring and Summer Wedding Favors Celebrate the Balm-y Weather

Here we are, right in the middle of wedding season! If you’re getting married in the next few months, here’s your chance to see several (but not all!) of the newly launched spring and summer wedding favors (and bridal shower favors!) from top-tier wedding favor designer Kate Aspen.

Let’s start with lip balms and favor boxes. Yes, lip balms are much-appreciated bridal shower and wedding favors, because the sun that warms our days also brings us dry, cracked lips. Lip balm favors have been around for a while but, this year, Kate Aspen ups the ante with two styles and dozens upon dozens of personalization options!

“Sweet Kisses” Lip Balm Container                                           “Love & Kisses” Lip Balm StickKate Aspen’s new “Make It Yours” favor box collection and Icon favor boxes are definitely taking the art of favor box design to a higher level.  The top three are from the personalized “make it yours” collection and the next three are Icon boxes!

The Icon favor boxes below are “With This Ring,” “Express Your Love,” and “For the Love Birds!”

If your passion is butterflies or beautiful birds, Kate has something for you, too. First, the butterflies—one of spring and summer’s most welcome ambassadors!

Did you notice the delicate, silver-finish butterfly charm on the “Spring Elegance” Laser-Cut Butterfly favor boxes on the right? Touches like that and the gift-ready creative packaging of hundreds of their favors—not to mention affordability—have  set Kate Aspen’s favors apart for years!  But don’t take it from me. I’ll let these next favors tweet for themselves—they’re salt and pepper shakers, a bronze-finish metal nest tea light holder and a sweet songbird taking a bath in a place card holder!

I’ve saved something fabulous for my big finish. I’ll admit there’s nothing new about drink mixes—coffee, tea, lemonade, hot chocolate, etc. –have been around for a while. What spices up Kate Aspen’s new drink mixes—and your reception tables—is the sensational, eye-catching, colorful gift presentation!

Check out “Main Squeeze” Lemonade Mix, “Razzle Dazzle” Raspberry Iced Tea Mix and “Mix & Mingle” Key Lime Margarita Mix!

Thirsty for more? Kate Aspen wedding favors and bridal shower favors are featured on Kate Aspen’s “preferred vendor online favor sites” like My Wedding Favors and others. Remember—they’re called favors because they do something special for someone. They thank your guests for celebrating the most amazing day of your life—and that deserves something special!

Susan Hawkins is senior copywriter and a blogger for My Wedding Favors, a leading online retailer of top-tier wedding favors, bridal shower favors and wedding accessories.

Are You A Diva Bride?

You’re ordering your wedding cake. It has five layers and you want the layers to be raspberry – lemon – raspberry – lemon – raspberry. The baker’s assistant writes it down switching it so it says lemon – raspberry – lemon……You do:

1. Politely point out the error before the baker pulls out the baking pans and gets to cooking.
2. Shriek “It’s raspberry then lemon!” and burst into tears.
3. Call your fiancé and make him explain it. He’s the negotiator.

You are trying on your wedding dress for a fitting. They need to fix the neckline. You:

1. Ask someone at the shop the status of fixing the neckline.
2. Throw your wedding veil in the air and run through the store saying, “They’ve damaged my dress!”
3. Tell your mother and let her talk to the store.

A bridesmaid is not getting the invitations ordered or her other duties done. You need to help get her organized – quick! You:

1. Have lunch with her and find out what is going on – help create a plan for her.
2. Cry on the phone to her that she is ruining your wedding and then cry to your other 5 bridesmaids about her for two hours.
3. Ask your future mother-in-law for advice and let her replace the bridesmaid with a cousin.

The caterer is asking for a second deposit. You’ve paid them but now they want even more. Your wedding is three weeks away and your fiancé is out-of-town. You:

1. Call the caterer and ask the reason for the additional deposit. Get the information in writing and understand why you need to pay them.
2. Leave work abruptly and go down in person to yell at the manager that he is “wrecking your day” and that he doesn’t understand. Cry on the way back to work and hire a new caterer.
3. Call your parents and in-laws and tell them you need a new caterer.

The band you’ve hired has an emergency and now can’t perform on your wedding. You’ve got to find a replacement – fast. You:

1. Put out the word to family and friends you need a referral to a great band.
2. Cuss out the band manager and tell him you’ll never forget how he tried to ruin your most important day.
3. Call your fiancé and let him decide what to do.

Okay, it’s time to tally up. How did you do?

All A’s: Regina Reasonable Bride – rational and practical, you’ve got it all under control
All B’s: Diana Diva Bride – get out of her way, she’s loud, proud and out of control!
All C’s: Beth Baby Girl Bride – time to grow up before you put on that wedding dress

Have a Wonderful Winter Wedding!

Winter weddings can be exceptionally beautiful; especially around the holiday season.  During that time, many places of worship and commercial venues have already been outfitted in festive colors, and oftentimes come with ready-made celebratory atmospheres.  In many cases, very little will be needed in the way of additional decorations.  In many parts of the world, snow is prevalent, which can definitely add to the festivities.

However, winter weddings can be subject to their own seasonal challenges.  Many a happy couple have had to navigate stormy weather to get to the church on time.  Brides often have to find practical (yet elegant ways) to keep warm, while not detracting from the overall look and feel of the occasion.  A winter bride may want to consider including either a cloak, cape, shrug, shawl, wrap, bolero, or faux fur stole to her wardrobe.

Certainly each and every delay and/or potential snag cannot be foreseen.  However, having a little peace-of-mind ahead of time can prove to be priceless if the occasion should call for it.  Before scheduling a winter wedding, having a Plan “B”, just in case things are not pulled off as smoothly as planned can surely be a good thing.  So as not to have a stranded bridal party (especially the bride and groom) , an alternate means  of transportation may need to be kept at the ready; and contracts made with any venue scheduled to host the reception will need to be examined for clauses that detail what would happen in the event of unavoidable tardiness or a cancellation.  Maintaining a list of things that need to be taken into consideration is a great way to keep track.  In the meantime, enjoy planning your winter wedding while not forgetting to set a place for Mother Nature….keeping in mind that she reserves the right to be the ultimate Wedding Crasher.

Photo by Anne Ruthmann

Wedding Hair and Makeup – To Thine Own Self Be True

Unless they are having a shotgun wedding, it  can be said that most brides prefer to look their absolute best on their wedding day.  Sadly though, oftentimes, in search of the perfect ‘look’, many brides have rendered themselves to be almost unrecognizable on the day of their wedding by wearing far too much makeup and sporting a hairdo that most in attendance would agree (although not to her face) that she would not dare wear in real life.

Of course, the special event will call for a little more than the usual, but it should not be so far off the mark that it seems totally out of character.  If a future bride is not accustomed to wearing a lot of makeup, then her wedding day should not be the day that she would choose to pile on as much as possible.  If she is uncomfortable with the idea of having her hair tightly wound, and piled up on top of her head, then alternatives should definitely be pursued. Perhaps a softer look; one that she is more comfortable with, may suit her best. There is a balance that should be met, and if necessary, she should not be afraid to enlist help from those who know her well.

If any of these are not available, she should consult a professional…while still attempting to bring along with her, either a trusted friend or family member.  After all, this will be her day and there will be pictures and memories that will no doubt last a lifetime.  Remember:  If they are to be thought of with fondness, they will need to be true and authentic.

Photo: by ElektraCute

A Bridal Pep Talk!

Congratulations!   He has finally popped the question, and  you have become officially engaged!  And so now you think that  you’ve got lots of time?

WRONG!

Are you planning on having a Spring wedding?  Do you really think that you are the ONLY one in search of the perfect gown and reception hall?

NOW…is the  time to begin making your plans!  Don’t let Santa, Christmas carols, and the softly falling snow fool you;  RIGHT NOW is when you need to get your butt in gear and at least make a start at pulling it all together.  There is no need to become alarmed, but it is NOW the time when  you need to begin thinking about your guest list, venue, music, attendants, invitations…etc.  While it may still seem to be a long way off, do not assume that your “Plan A” is going to work.  True, you may be the bride; and although your close friends and family members may fall under your spell and give in to your every whim and wish;  keep in mind that the world at large will not be at your beck and call.  Bridezillas are not new on the scene, and so it would be in your best interests not to put yourself in the position of becoming one yourself.

Surely by now you must know that The Ritz-Carlton and Trump Plaza will not, as if by magic, suddenly become available to you, upon learning of your exciting news; and that depending on the complexity of your personal and individual dream, you may also need to have a plan  B, and/or C lined up as well.  Get my drift?  O.K. girl…On your mark…get ready…set…go!

Let the bridal games begin!

Wedding Tips – How to Deal With Kids?

How to Entertain Kids at Your Wedding (by The Wedding Gal’s Snarky Cousin)

Somehow I bet a lot of things take precedence in your wedding-occupied bridal mind over the kids that will be at your wedding.  You’ve got the flowers, the dress, the rings, the bridesmaids, and a thousand other things to think about.  Take my advice, though, Dearest.  Put a little bit of thought into what you’re going to do with the adorable little kiddies that will be running willy-nilly around your reception.

Now, if you’re one of those brides who plans to specify “no kids” at the ceremony, reception, or both, you can stop reading now.  On second thought…maybe read a little further.  See, you have friends and family members who likely have children.  They like to bring their children to weddings, because they get to dress said children up in adorable outfits and take beacoup pictures of them.  If you tell these friends and family member that they cannot bring their precious darlings to your nuptials…well…you can just kiss that gift goodbye.  That’s all I’m saying.

Anywhoo, provided you care more about the toaster and less about the disruption of those adorable little rugrats, you’ll need to figure out something to do to keep them entertained.  Otherwise they run around and start pulling the long dresses over their head, attacking the buffet table, pushing Uncle Morty’s wheelchair around (with Uncle Morty still in it) and they basically wreak all kinds of havoc.

I will tell you now that the absolute biggest favor you can do for yourself is to hire a babysitter for your wedding.  Depending on the size of the wedding and how many kids are coming, maybe hire two babysitters.  Ask your sister-in-law or your Aunt Patty to recommend someone, and just pay them the going rate to hang with the kids and keep them happy during the reception.  If the parents don’t care if the kids are present during the ceremony, go ahead and let the kids play with the babysitter throughout that.  They don’t want to see your ceremony anyway, and it will save the videographer having to edit out “I’m hungry!” or “Jessie just pooped!” from your vows.  Yes folks, I’m speaking from experience.

Make sure the babysitter has lots of games, crayons and coloring books, snacks, and other things to keep the kids occupied.  If your reception is a standard 4-hour reception, you might even think about getting a separate room so that the kids can watch a movie.  Basically, just think about all the stuff you’d wished they’d had at weddings you went to when YOU were a kid and do that.  It doesn’t cost a lot of money, and your guests who are the parents of the kids will appreciate your thoughtful consideration of their little bundles of joy.

photo by tobybarnes

Wedding Comfort – Why Shouldn’t You Be Comfortable On Your Wedding Day?

Weddings, are, of course, a magical time of joy and beauty.   They are also a time of mind-numbing fear and anxiety – not that the decision could be wrong, but that something could GO wrong.  Will the flowers be right?  Will the flower girl throw a tantrum?  Will the best man get schnockered and talk about that weekend in Thailand with your groom-to-be?  There is an awful lot to think about.

One thing you shouldn’t have to think about is how YOU feel on your special day.  Sure, it is the most important day of your life.  Of course, it is the day you want to look more beautiful than any other day.  The thing is, it’s also a very long day, and you should take certain precautions so that nothing distracts you from being your radiant, beautiful, happy self.   Here are some practical suggestions that other people might be too tactful to share with you.

photo by Inchka

The Shoes.  You shoes should certainly be the shoes of your dreams.  Princess Shoes.  Fairy Princess Shoes.  Shoes that make your feet feel light as air.  Shoes that do not cause permanent toe damage.  Shoes that won’t make you snap at your elderly relatives.  There is a line between comfort and fashion.  We all know that.  Trust me when I tell you that you will enjoy your special day so much more if your feet aren’t killing you.  Just say no to foot torture devices.

photo by Susan_1981

Allow me to mention the subject of your unmentionables.  Of course you want to be pretty from head to toe on your wedding day.   Of course you should wear underwear that makes you feel pretty.  You should not wear underwear that will cause you to dance prematurely up the aisle.  I doubt very seriously that you want a shot of you picking a wedgie in your photo album.  Nor do you want your maid of honor’s duty to include reattaching your stocking to your garter.  Have a test run of your wedding skivvies – if not the actual pieces then very similar or identical – so that you can be sure it will be comfy and stay put during your nuptials.

Follow these words of advice, from me, Wedding Gal’s trusted and beloved Cousin Betty.  I’ve been to too many weddings (and a part of too many weddings) to steer you wrong.

Comfort includes your wedding ring, right?

Alternatives to The Wedding Veil

Many brides today are choosing to not wear a wedding veil. Looking at the bridal magazines more and more bride models are shown without veils. Are the styles changing so brides will now go veil-less? Only time will tell. But if you do wish to be without a veil, there are a number of lovely options for the blushing bride.

Fresh flowers are one of the most popular options for the bride without a veil. These brides have fresh flowers created into a custom-made headdress they wear. This is an ideal choice for brides who feel especially close to nature or want to celebrate the seasons. Flowers are also very romantic. You may choose a flower to design your headdress around that your groom first gave you when he was courting you. That expression gives your bridal ensemble much more meaning than choosing a wedding veil. Fresh flowers can be worn any time of year with the assistance of a florist.

Tiaras are another excellent choice for many brides. Who could resist a bit of sparkle on their wedding day? The bride who chooses a tiara often has an elegant or evening themed wedding. Compliment your tiara with some sparkly jewelry if you can – as your tiara will be flattered with the extra shimmer and shine. Many women dream of being a princess or a queen for the day and a tiara makes their dream come true!

Theme weddings often make it possible for a bride to forego a traditional wedding veil. Some brides during the Halloween season have all of their guests dress in costume – right along with the bride and groom. Depending on what type of costumes the bride and groom have chosen, a wedding veil may not be the ideal expression she wants. She can get just as pretty a “bride” look from a wedding bouquet, lovely jewelry or fancy shoes.

Wraps are also quite popular and another choice for the bride who wishes to forego the wedding veil. With a wedding veil the eye is naturally brought down to your neck and shoulders. You have the same “eye appeal” when you choose a beautiful wrap. Many bridal stores like David’s Bridal now carry wedding wraps to compliment wedding dresses. A wrap can be perfect for a Winter wedding in a faux or real fur. Or a silk or linen fabric for the Spring and Summer. You have many options when you choose a wrap.

Stunning wedding jewelry is an ideal choice for the bride that doesn’t wish to wear a veil. There are so many choices when you choose jewelry to compliment your wedding dress. You could wear heirloom jewelry from your grandmother and mother. Or you could wear jewelry ideal for the theme of your wedding. Your new husband may even give you special jewelry to wear for your wedding day. Or you could have jewelry custom designed for this day to celebrate your union.

If you choose not to have a wedding veil, know that there are many options to stay just as lovely a bride as you would like to be. Every bride deserves to express her originality and personal style as she says her vows and dances for the first time with her new husband.

Tiara photo by robleto

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