8 Tips For Hosting A $20,000 Wedding For Much Less

Summer: the time of year where love fills the air and wedding invitations flood your mailbox. Typically the invitations portray the theme of the wedding and inform the invitee when and where the wedding will take place.  Over the past couple months, I’ve been getting a ton of invites in the mail seeing how I’m at that age where everyone seems to be getting married (except me, but that’s another topic all together).

Anyway, if you haven’t heard, the average cost of a wedding these days’ is about $24,000. When you consider most people getting married are around 26 and that bill doesn’t include the rings or the honeymoon – the fact is that weddings are freakin’ expensive. In most cases, the couples getting married have just finished paying off their college debt and saving for their new home. Sure, some families help take care of a wedding. But there are definitely ways to host a $20,000 for less… much less.

Below are 8 money saving tips to help alleviate the expense of a wedding.

Tip #1. Off season weddings are much more affordable than a typical summer wedding. Also, it would also help to cut costs if it were scheduled on a Friday or Sunday. Depending on the time of the year, certain places may be decorated in advanced which can also encourage savings.

Tip #2. The average guest list is 178 family and friends long. This is possibly where you can end up saving most of your money considering everything – outside of the ceremony – is dependent on the head count. If possible, limit your guest list to 125-150. A good rule of thumb here: don’t invite more guests then you can spend at least a minute of your time with.

Tip #3. It is important to capture the memories created during your special day with photos, but getting professional photos could be cheaper than you think. Find a family member with some photography experience, a friend that you graduated with that majored in photography, or a cheap freelancer. Chances are they are willing to donate their services as a wedding gift or for much cheaper than a professional.

Tip #4. Food is probably going to end up costing the most out of all the wedding expenses.  You may want to consider a buffet style meal instead of a sit down meal.  It may also be feasible to have the caterers drop off the prepared food and set it all up and then leave.  Or, if you’re really ambitious, do the catering yourself.

Tip #5. Wedding announcements and invitations can be found for FREE! There are a ton of services on the web that provide free personalized announcements which can be printed from your home computer. Use some theme colored ribbon to spruce up the look and feel of the card.

Tip #6. From my experience, I know how you ladies like to browse dresses in magazines and try on dresses at bridal shops like Alfred Angelo. The dress is always a pricey piece of weddings, but if you’re not afraid to wear last season’s fashions, hundreds of dollars can be saved by going with an older style dress.

Tip #7. Some marriages find it a must to have a live band at their wedding. Others may suffice with a DJ.  Good live bands can cost as much as $2,000 or more.  Instead, find a musically inclined friend that will do it for cheap or even free as a gift.  If you really want to go cheap, find a play list online and download the songs to your iPod and use an amplifier to play it. I’ve seen this done at many weddings recently and found it to be just as effective as a DJ.

Tip #8. Certain beverages at the wedding can be extremely costly. Instead of hosting an open bar, have a beer wagon and a wine bar. If your families aren’t big drinkers only have a glass of champagne for the toast or just cut it out altogether.

Worst Bridesmaid Dresses

Bridesmaid.  The word has varying effects on people, depending on their past experiences.  For some, it was an honor just to be asked.  For others, it was a taffeta nightmare.

Some brides choose bridesmaid dresses that they are absolutely sure their bridesmaids will look terrible in.  That’s called, “I have low self esteem and want to make sure I’m the prettiest one in my pictures.”  Other brides have some bridesmaids that will look good in a particular dress, and others who WON’T look good in it.  “It’s not on purpose, Amy.  You’re just fat, is all.”

Other times, brides will choose bridesmaid dresses that they think are absolutely beautiful.  They’d be happy to wear the dress, if they were not the bride, but only a mere bridesmaid.  “And the best thing about it is you can shorten it and wear it again.”  Right?  RIGHT?

Just because it’s fun, and because we sometimes all need a laugh, here are some bridesmaid dresses that are sure to make you glad she DIDN’T ask you.

This is an easy one to start off on, because this picture is clearly from the seventies, and those dresses are probably still in tact somewhere, because that grade of polyester has the shelf life of a Twinkie.  And you know about Twinkies.

Again, we can chalk this up to the crazy days of hallucinogenic drugs and free love.  I just wonder why that one lady on the end got to wear a cape.  Where are all the rest of the capes?  That’s what that brown -haired lady on the other end is thinking, “Where the … is my cape?”

This one might be even older, but I think that any bride that forces you to dress like Mrs. Claus deserves to have a little Ex Lax slipped into her egg nog.  Just sayin’.

This might very well be from the Eighties, but to me this picture is like one of those “Can you find all the things that are wrong in this picture” things.  Yes.  Yes I can.

The only thing that would make this OK is if they just came from their dance recital.

And what you can’t see is the knife in the bridesmaid’s OTHER hand.

And all of the sudden there were a lot of very cold Solid Gold dancers…

And because of this dress, this is the only bridesmaid that showed up.  No, seriously though.  There was only enough fabric for one dress – IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Wha?

Forsooth and verily.  I think I’m gonna puke.

there’s this

and this

and this.  Now tulle is extinct and satin is on the endangered list.

like you do.

Notice that the bride is wearing camouflage.  That means those dresses are “safety” or “blaze” orange.  Presumably so nobody shoots the bridesmaids during the ceremony.

At the reception, however, all bets are off.

Come on.  Really?

The brunette looks embarrassed, and we can’t even see her face.

Yet, strangely, none of these people look embarrassed.

And neither do any of these people.  Can you imagine the phone call on this one?  “Amy, will you be a bridesmaid in my wedding?”  “Um, I don’t really have enough money for  a dress.”  “Oh, that’s OK.  You’ll just need to wear black pumps, a g-string, and some pasties.”  “Wow.  It’s so nice of you to let us wear what we just wear to work.”  “Oh, it’s no problem.  The hat I’m wearing is so amazing that nobody will even notice your nakedness, so I’m sorry about that, but at least Joey’s going to wear his stripey socks and that Elvis clown mask he wore when he got arrested for snorting sand that time.”  “Oh yeah.  Joey’s such a trip.  See you at the wedding!”

What?  I make my own fun.  I swiped a lot of these pictures from Tacky Weddings.  Stay classy.

Beat The Heat – Summer Wedding Weather Survival

Summer weddings are popular for a number of reasons:  the brilliant sunshine, the ready abundance of flowers and plants, and the overall sense of energy and vibrant life that comes with the season.  These sunny celebrations of love and eternity do present a seemingly inescapable fact of nature: the heat.   Not to be dissuaded; however, countless couples choose to tie the knot outdoors during the summer.

Fear not!  Surviving the sweltering temperatures is easily accomplished for both the guests and the bride and groom.  Here are a few simple tips for keeping your cool:

1. If you’re invited to a summer fete, choose a light-colored outfit (avoiding white, of course).  The light colors will help reflect the sun’s rays and keep you cooler than dark colors.  Also, if you wear a dress, avoid long skirts.  Knee length or mid calf skirt will allow for the movement of air without smothering your legs.
2. If you have long hair (bride or guest), wearing your hair up will work wonders to keep your neck and shoulders cool and pleasantly un-sweaty.
3. Stay hydrated.  One of the number one dangers during any summertime celebration is dehydration.  Keep cool beverages on hand.  This can be especially important for the bride and groom, as she is likely to be weigh down under layers of a heavy wedding gown, while he’ll be sporting a fetching (but also heavy) tuxedo.
4. Try to stay in the shade.  Avoiding the direct sunlight can help keep you cool as well as avoiding sunburn.  Sunscreen is a must for outdoor ceremonies.  No one wants a blistering sunburn as their thank-you note for attending.

So don’t dread the long ceremony in the sun.  With proper planning and a little common sense, disaster can be avoided and you can cut loose and celebrate with the proper enthusiasm, without worrying about the heat.

Are You A Diva Bride?

You’re ordering your wedding cake. It has five layers and you want the layers to be raspberry – lemon – raspberry – lemon – raspberry. The baker’s assistant writes it down switching it so it says lemon – raspberry – lemon……You do:

1. Politely point out the error before the baker pulls out the baking pans and gets to cooking.
2. Shriek “It’s raspberry then lemon!” and burst into tears.
3. Call your fiancé and make him explain it. He’s the negotiator.

You are trying on your wedding dress for a fitting. They need to fix the neckline. You:

1. Ask someone at the shop the status of fixing the neckline.
2. Throw your wedding veil in the air and run through the store saying, “They’ve damaged my dress!”
3. Tell your mother and let her talk to the store.

A bridesmaid is not getting the invitations ordered or her other duties done. You need to help get her organized – quick! You:

1. Have lunch with her and find out what is going on – help create a plan for her.
2. Cry on the phone to her that she is ruining your wedding and then cry to your other 5 bridesmaids about her for two hours.
3. Ask your future mother-in-law for advice and let her replace the bridesmaid with a cousin.

The caterer is asking for a second deposit. You’ve paid them but now they want even more. Your wedding is three weeks away and your fiancé is out-of-town. You:

1. Call the caterer and ask the reason for the additional deposit. Get the information in writing and understand why you need to pay them.
2. Leave work abruptly and go down in person to yell at the manager that he is “wrecking your day” and that he doesn’t understand. Cry on the way back to work and hire a new caterer.
3. Call your parents and in-laws and tell them you need a new caterer.

The band you’ve hired has an emergency and now can’t perform on your wedding. You’ve got to find a replacement – fast. You:

1. Put out the word to family and friends you need a referral to a great band.
2. Cuss out the band manager and tell him you’ll never forget how he tried to ruin your most important day.
3. Call your fiancé and let him decide what to do.

Okay, it’s time to tally up. How did you do?

All A’s: Regina Reasonable Bride – rational and practical, you’ve got it all under control
All B’s: Diana Diva Bride – get out of her way, she’s loud, proud and out of control!
All C’s: Beth Baby Girl Bride – time to grow up before you put on that wedding dress

How to Choose a Bridesmaid Dress Video

In this how to choose a bridesmaid dress video, an expert from Brides.com gives us some tips on picking bridesmaid dresses that our bridesmaids can actually wear again. A little-known secret about being a bride is that we have some sort of hypnosis or disorder when we’re planning our weddings that make it so we can convince ourselves that any dress we pick for our bridesmaids will be something they’ll be thrilled to wear again. Later, after the wedding fog clears, we realize that it ain’t gonna happen. Truly, after this video, I’m still not convinced, though she gives some good suggestions, like making sure the fabric and color are current or classic, pick something with a little detail (because, as she said, “nothing says ‘bridesmaid’ like a completely plain dress.’” She makes some cool suggestions, like choosing a dress with a pattern, and suggests different accessories to help the dress make the transition. Now, if they only offered different ways to wear that wedding dress!

Valentine’s Day Weddings – Should You Say “I Do” on a Popular Holiday?

Holiday themed weddings have been popular nearly as long as couples have been saying, “I Do!” With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, many couples are preparing to wed on this very romantic and sweet day of the year. But should you choose a holiday as your wedding day. Let’s talk about the benefits or challenges of choosing Valentine’s Day – or another popular holiday as your wedding day.

The costs will often be higher on a holiday wedding day. Expect to pay a premium price for things like flowers, catering and event space for holidays like Valentine’s Day, Christmas and New Year’s Day. Especially flowers will be quite expensive near Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day. You’ll want to include these costs in your budget planning.

Holidays like Valentine’s Day are also an ideal time to find special things you’ll only find at one time of the year. Many manufacturers make things in time for the holidays knowing that they will be purchased by many. Your celebrating your wedding in addition means you can enjoy pink champagne or other romantic things that may be included with the holiday.

A holiday wedding can make it easy for everyone to come – as they have that time off from work or school. A wedding near a holiday can often make it easier for friends and family to come to your wedding as many holidays are days off from work or school. While Valentine’s Day is not a holiday we take off from work. New Year’s Eve and the 4^th of July are. Many of these holidays can be an ideal choice as you will know that family and friends can take the long weekend or part of the week to join your special celebration.

Some guests may find a Valentine’s Day – or other holiday themed wedding a challenge. The holidays are a time when people often make special plans. If family or friends have made plans of their own they may sometimes be hard to change. Of course a wedding is something special you just don’t want to miss. Simply keep in mind that with a holiday themed wedding you’ll want to use Save the Date cards way in advance to let guests know you are using a special holiday date – to be sure they reserve this date for your wedding instead of for other plans.

You’ll always have a “fun” wedding anniversary. When your wedding anniversary is Valentine’s Day, this day becomes even more romantic and special for the two of you as a couple. Just imagine how wonderful it will be celebrating big anniversaries like your 10^th, 25^th or 50^th wedding anniversary and Valentine’s Day on the same day. Very exciting and also romantic as well. Every restaurant in town will be offering special meals and treats. There will always be lots of fun and romantic things to do over the Valentine’s Day weekend that you can do to celebrate your anniversary.

Have a Wonderful Winter Wedding!

Winter weddings can be exceptionally beautiful; especially around the holiday season.  During that time, many places of worship and commercial venues have already been outfitted in festive colors, and oftentimes come with ready-made celebratory atmospheres.  In many cases, very little will be needed in the way of additional decorations.  In many parts of the world, snow is prevalent, which can definitely add to the festivities.

However, winter weddings can be subject to their own seasonal challenges.  Many a happy couple have had to navigate stormy weather to get to the church on time.  Brides often have to find practical (yet elegant ways) to keep warm, while not detracting from the overall look and feel of the occasion.  A winter bride may want to consider including either a cloak, cape, shrug, shawl, wrap, bolero, or faux fur stole to her wardrobe.

Certainly each and every delay and/or potential snag cannot be foreseen.  However, having a little peace-of-mind ahead of time can prove to be priceless if the occasion should call for it.  Before scheduling a winter wedding, having a Plan “B”, just in case things are not pulled off as smoothly as planned can surely be a good thing.  So as not to have a stranded bridal party (especially the bride and groom) , an alternate means  of transportation may need to be kept at the ready; and contracts made with any venue scheduled to host the reception will need to be examined for clauses that detail what would happen in the event of unavoidable tardiness or a cancellation.  Maintaining a list of things that need to be taken into consideration is a great way to keep track.  In the meantime, enjoy planning your winter wedding while not forgetting to set a place for Mother Nature….keeping in mind that she reserves the right to be the ultimate Wedding Crasher.

Photo by Anne Ruthmann

15 Things I Learned from Being a Bridesmaid

Being a bridesmaid is a great honor but for grown-ups, being the bridesmaid, or worse, the maid of honor for one of your best friends can be an experience that you may not want to repeat too often or ever again!

Here are 15 things I learned as a bridesmaid veteran of five weddings:

1. Remember it’s not your day!  The bride is the center of attention and it is her big day so be prepared to cater for her every whim.  After all, as bridesmaid you only have to deal with Little Miss’ tantrums and spats for a few rehearsals and the day of the wedding, after that the poor guy she’s marrying has to deal with her for life;
2. While you may not be the center of attention as far as the wedding is concerned, you can be assured of being the center of attention for lots of guys!  I should know because I met my husband when I was a bridesmaid for the 4^th time but be careful if you are thinking this will be a great way to find a catch because:
3. Never, and I mean NEVER! Let a guy open the door and escort you if he calls you “Sugar”, “Babe” or worse, “Sugarbabe!”;
4. Do not let a bride convince you to wear grapevine as headgear.  Yes you can still find it, on a remote hillside in South Carolina on property owned by a gun toting hillbilly aged 72 and related to Jed Clampett as both his brother and second uncle;
5. Wearing woven grapevine leaves marks, both physical and emotional, which last for up to 6 months, if you have the choice, wear a crown of thorns instead;
6. Glue guns are a great invention for people who want to stick things and are not worried about whether they will explode or not – just remember that glue guns do overheat and will overheat because they are going to get a lot of use and as bridesmaid, you have to pitch in;
7. Brides want everyone to wear matching ear rings so be prepared to get your ears pierced if you haven’t already done so;
8. If you are asked to write a speech, do not retell the time when your “Best Friend”, who is getting married, was violently ill after drinking too much and ended the evening clinging to the toilet, swearing the world was ending and she couldn’t let it go because there was an earthquake (we lived in Ohio at the time);
9. If you are serious about catching the bouquet when the bride throws it, make sure you are wearing an outfit which will hold you in, as falling out of the top of your dress while stretching for the flowers can be very revealing resulting in more guys calling you “Sugar”, “Babe” etc;
10. Do NOT get drunk at the reception!;
11. The old saying, “Always a bridesmaid and never a bride!” is simply not true, I’m happily married to my husband whom I met when serving as a bridesmaid at wedding number 4;
12. Do everything you can to convince the bride that bridesmaid can get out of their dresses and into practical dress as soon as possible for the evening.  If she won’t budge on this, make sure the bridesmaids dresses are comfortable and practical if you have to spend the day in them;
13. The same applies to shoes!
14. Buying gifts for the bride and groom should really be about getting them things they will enjoy – people buy the most boring and unoriginal gifts which cost a fortune but the ones that make an impression are the ones where a lot of thought has gone into them;
15. Being a bridesmaid for five friends I am not interested in repeating the experience unless by new baby girl really wants me to do it for her !

Danforth Diamond, online wedding jewelry and fine engagement rings.

Bad Daughter/Dad Wedding Dance Songs

photo by by Corrie…

Okay, y’all.  Let’s have a little talk about the first dance with your dad.  Call it the Father/Daughter Dance, the Daddy/Daughter Dance, The Give The Bride Away Dance, whatever.  There are songs that are just PERFECT for this particular part of the most special day of your life, and then there are songs that you should absolutely, no matter what, stay away from.

Obviously, if you have a special song that you used to dance to with your daddy – your little socked feet atop his shiny shoes – by all means pick that one.  We’ll assume since it’s a song you danced to when you were a wee thing that it’s most likely family-appropriate.  It doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with dads, daughters, or dancing, but if it’s special to you and your Pops, that’s all that matters.  If you’re stumped, go with a song about a good relationship between a dad and a daughter, like “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder or “Gracie” by Ben Folds Five.

Here is a short list I’ve compiled of songs you shouldn’t under any circumstances dance with your dad to at your wedding:

Father Figure by George Michael
I Want Your Sex by George Michael
Actually, stay away from almost every song by George Michael
White Wedding by Billy Idol
Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye
Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye
Come to think of it, stay away from Marvin Gaye, too.  His dad did shoot him to death, after all.  Bad mojo.
Squeezebox by The Who
Gold Digger by Kanye West (who would undoubtedly jump out from behind the curtains and tell you that the girl who got married there before you danced with her dad better)
Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen
Like a Virgin by Madonna
Justify My Love by Madonna
Brickhouse by The Commodores
You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate
Private Dancer by Tina Turner
Thank Heaven for Little Girls by Maurice Chevalier (trust me, it’s creepy)
Papa Can You Hear Me by Babs (from Yentil – sad song, don’t do it)
Tears In Heaven (about death, dig?  don’t do it)
AND
Push It by Salt n’ Pepa

If you can think of more no-no songs, post a comment below.  If you want to fight for one of these tunes, do the same!

Give a Unique Personalized Wedding Gift – Wine Label

I was just at a large wedding this past weekend (my roommate from college, in case you were wondering). The bride and groom gave a very thoughtful and unique gift – a bottle of wine. But that’s not the unique or thoughtful part in my opinion. The label was “From…” and it had their new married name and the date and location of their wedding. It also had a quote from the first song they danced to as man and wife. Perfect!

I saw that many people opened up their bottles of wine right at that event and I was reminded of how difficult it can be to find that perfect large-event gift. You want to get something thoughtful and personal yet please the whole crowd. I think a lot of the success of their gift was the beautiful custom wine label on the delicious wine. It gave the perfect message with the bottle of wine to celebrate their wedding and marriage. The fact that the wine was delicious certainly didn’t hurt!

Custom wine labels would be ideal for many occasions. A family reunion where you give a bottle of wine to every adult present. Or that milestone birthday – like the big 4-0 or 6-5 birthday party where you want to give the guests something special. It would also be great for the holidays, where you are looking for a gift you can give everyone on your list that will be sure to be a winner. Create a thoughtful and celebratory note on your customized wine label and give out wine for the holidays!

Wine can be a great gift for everyone’s hard work for that community fundraiser or event. Many times a charity or board wants to give a thank you gift they know will be appreciated. With a clever wine label design you have the opportunity to leave a special note on each bottle.

So enjoy a glass of wine – with our thanks!

P.S. Join the wine label design contest and win $100.

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