More Theme Wedding Madness

It is a relief to see  that there are some people out there who just don’t give a darn how they look.  Not even on their wedding day.

I guess that’s not fair.  They DO care how they look, they just choose to look like a cartoon character or superhero.  Sure.  Why not?  I mean, if you’re going to do it, do it right.  Make sure people remember it.  Make sure, for instance, that they remember that you came to your wedding dressed as Wonder Woman, and that your groom dressed like Batman.

Holy Are-You-Kidding Me, Batman!

Lucky for these folks, both Batman and Wonder Woman were  part of Justice League of America in The Brave and the Bold #28, otherwise we’d take issue.  We already have to overlook the fact that these wackadoos were attended by Robin (that’s OK), the Joker (WTF?), Yoda (Come on, now), The Incredibles (Really?), Iron Man, Poison Ivy, and The Incredible Hulk (MARVEL COMICS, HELLO?!?!?!)   The bridesmaids came dressed in PowerPuff Girls costumes.  Oh, the humanity.  Step all over those of who who LIKE comic books, why don’t you?

Or, take these folks, who decided to kick it old, old, old, old school.

Yabba Dabba...oh whatever.

They actually said, “I yabba dabba do” in their vows.  Oh the sweet injustice of it all.  At least these people were purist.  The bride was attended by Betty Rubble, Barney Rubble stood up as best man, the children attendants were dressed as Bamm-Bamm, and the guests all dressed as cavemen.  Er, cave people.  My, my.

This one is the real kicker, though.  What would the cleaning bills cost to get all that GREEN PAINT off the wedding dress?

Really?

I get it that you saw Shrek on your first date.  I get that you liked it.  I liked it too.  A lot.  I watch it pretty often still.  But what on earth did your mother say when you told her you wanted to paint yourself completely green and wear fake ears on your wedding day?  Did she cry?  I kind of did, when I heard about this.  And the groom.  He’s 53!  Did he just not give a crap?  And what’s with the clown character in the back?  Are you TRYING to give me a heart attack?

Oh well, right?  As long as they are happy, that is what matters….

8 Tips For Hosting A $20,000 Wedding For Much Less

Summer: the time of year where love fills the air and wedding invitations flood your mailbox. Typically the invitations portray the theme of the wedding and inform the invitee when and where the wedding will take place.  Over the past couple months, I’ve been getting a ton of invites in the mail seeing how I’m at that age where everyone seems to be getting married (except me, but that’s another topic all together).

Anyway, if you haven’t heard, the average cost of a wedding these days’ is about $24,000. When you consider most people getting married are around 26 and that bill doesn’t include the rings or the honeymoon – the fact is that weddings are freakin’ expensive. In most cases, the couples getting married have just finished paying off their college debt and saving for their new home. Sure, some families help take care of a wedding. But there are definitely ways to host a $20,000 for less… much less.

Below are 8 money saving tips to help alleviate the expense of a wedding.

Tip #1. Off season weddings are much more affordable than a typical summer wedding. Also, it would also help to cut costs if it were scheduled on a Friday or Sunday. Depending on the time of the year, certain places may be decorated in advanced which can also encourage savings.

Tip #2. The average guest list is 178 family and friends long. This is possibly where you can end up saving most of your money considering everything – outside of the ceremony – is dependent on the head count. If possible, limit your guest list to 125-150. A good rule of thumb here: don’t invite more guests then you can spend at least a minute of your time with.

Tip #3. It is important to capture the memories created during your special day with photos, but getting professional photos could be cheaper than you think. Find a family member with some photography experience, a friend that you graduated with that majored in photography, or a cheap freelancer. Chances are they are willing to donate their services as a wedding gift or for much cheaper than a professional.

Tip #4. Food is probably going to end up costing the most out of all the wedding expenses.  You may want to consider a buffet style meal instead of a sit down meal.  It may also be feasible to have the caterers drop off the prepared food and set it all up and then leave.  Or, if you’re really ambitious, do the catering yourself.

Tip #5. Wedding announcements and invitations can be found for FREE! There are a ton of services on the web that provide free personalized announcements which can be printed from your home computer. Use some theme colored ribbon to spruce up the look and feel of the card.

Tip #6. From my experience, I know how you ladies like to browse dresses in magazines and try on dresses at bridal shops like Alfred Angelo. The dress is always a pricey piece of weddings, but if you’re not afraid to wear last season’s fashions, hundreds of dollars can be saved by going with an older style dress.

Tip #7. Some marriages find it a must to have a live band at their wedding. Others may suffice with a DJ.  Good live bands can cost as much as $2,000 or more.  Instead, find a musically inclined friend that will do it for cheap or even free as a gift.  If you really want to go cheap, find a play list online and download the songs to your iPod and use an amplifier to play it. I’ve seen this done at many weddings recently and found it to be just as effective as a DJ.

Tip #8. Certain beverages at the wedding can be extremely costly. Instead of hosting an open bar, have a beer wagon and a wine bar. If your families aren’t big drinkers only have a glass of champagne for the toast or just cut it out altogether.

Groomzillas

The wedding articles say that over 80% of grooms are at least equal partners in the wedding planning process.  So, of course, the wedding industry is catering to this group of men who have decided to own the wedding planning process.  Is this because average grooms are older than they used to be – and therefore pickier and more set in their ways?  Is it because most couples cohabitate before they marry, meaning they are paying for more of the wedding than they used to?

Whatever the reason, the Internet is full of stories of grooms who became completely caught up in the wedding planning process, and are just as hard to please and soothe as those famous Bridezillas that they like to make television programs about.  So, if you end up with one of these, how do you deal with him?  Well, you have choices.

You can let him have whatever he wants.  Let him control the whole thing.  Let him pick the flowers, the food, the table settings, the cake flavor, and even your dress.  What?  No!

You can test his fortitude.  Is he a real Groomzilla, or is he playing at this?  Take him to a bridal show.  Make him read all the bridal magazines with you.  Completely inundate him with wedding stuff.  He might very well cry uncle.

If he doesn’t?  Then it looks like you’ve got a partner for good.  Enjoy planning this special day with him and realize that if you can’t do this together, you’re probably not going to be very good at living together, raising kids together, and functioning as a couple.  It’s a good litmus test for the rest of your marriage.

Worst Bridesmaid Dresses

Bridesmaid.  The word has varying effects on people, depending on their past experiences.  For some, it was an honor just to be asked.  For others, it was a taffeta nightmare.

Some brides choose bridesmaid dresses that they are absolutely sure their bridesmaids will look terrible in.  That’s called, “I have low self esteem and want to make sure I’m the prettiest one in my pictures.”  Other brides have some bridesmaids that will look good in a particular dress, and others who WON’T look good in it.  “It’s not on purpose, Amy.  You’re just fat, is all.”

Other times, brides will choose bridesmaid dresses that they think are absolutely beautiful.  They’d be happy to wear the dress, if they were not the bride, but only a mere bridesmaid.  “And the best thing about it is you can shorten it and wear it again.”  Right?  RIGHT?

Just because it’s fun, and because we sometimes all need a laugh, here are some bridesmaid dresses that are sure to make you glad she DIDN’T ask you.

This is an easy one to start off on, because this picture is clearly from the seventies, and those dresses are probably still in tact somewhere, because that grade of polyester has the shelf life of a Twinkie.  And you know about Twinkies.

Again, we can chalk this up to the crazy days of hallucinogenic drugs and free love.  I just wonder why that one lady on the end got to wear a cape.  Where are all the rest of the capes?  That’s what that brown -haired lady on the other end is thinking, “Where the … is my cape?”

This one might be even older, but I think that any bride that forces you to dress like Mrs. Claus deserves to have a little Ex Lax slipped into her egg nog.  Just sayin’.

This might very well be from the Eighties, but to me this picture is like one of those “Can you find all the things that are wrong in this picture” things.  Yes.  Yes I can.

The only thing that would make this OK is if they just came from their dance recital.

And what you can’t see is the knife in the bridesmaid’s OTHER hand.

And all of the sudden there were a lot of very cold Solid Gold dancers…

And because of this dress, this is the only bridesmaid that showed up.  No, seriously though.  There was only enough fabric for one dress – IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Wha?

Forsooth and verily.  I think I’m gonna puke.

there’s this

and this

and this.  Now tulle is extinct and satin is on the endangered list.

like you do.

Notice that the bride is wearing camouflage.  That means those dresses are “safety” or “blaze” orange.  Presumably so nobody shoots the bridesmaids during the ceremony.

At the reception, however, all bets are off.

Come on.  Really?

The brunette looks embarrassed, and we can’t even see her face.

Yet, strangely, none of these people look embarrassed.

And neither do any of these people.  Can you imagine the phone call on this one?  “Amy, will you be a bridesmaid in my wedding?”  “Um, I don’t really have enough money for  a dress.”  “Oh, that’s OK.  You’ll just need to wear black pumps, a g-string, and some pasties.”  “Wow.  It’s so nice of you to let us wear what we just wear to work.”  “Oh, it’s no problem.  The hat I’m wearing is so amazing that nobody will even notice your nakedness, so I’m sorry about that, but at least Joey’s going to wear his stripey socks and that Elvis clown mask he wore when he got arrested for snorting sand that time.”  “Oh yeah.  Joey’s such a trip.  See you at the wedding!”

What?  I make my own fun.  I swiped a lot of these pictures from Tacky Weddings.  Stay classy.