What Not To Do At A Wedding Shower

January 25, 2011 by  
Filed under Wedding Humor

Wedding showers are all about the bride.  Sometimes you know her really well and the shower is a happy, fun-filled occasion.  Other times, you barely know the girl and you have no idea how to act, what to get her, or what to say.  In each situation and every one in between, here is a cardinal list of rules of what not to do at ANY wedding shower.

Unless it’s ONE OF THOSE Showers, Stay Away from Inappropriate Gifts

blushing
Unless the shower is designated for gifts of the *ahem* more intimate nature, stay away from sex toys and risque lingerie.  One famous story is floating around the internet that regards a ninety-year-old grandmother who was so offended at a shower gift that she spit her dentures out and stormed away.  We want to avoid offended grandmothers.

Keep Your History To Yourself

love-triangle
There are countless stories out there about girls who attend the bridal showers of women who are marrying their ex boyfriends.  Maybe that’s not clear, so let’s put it into second person narrative.  You’re at a shower.  The girl who is getting married is getting married to a guy you used to date.  Whatever you do, do not talk about your relationship with this girl’s groom-to-be.  It’s in poor taste and makes everyone feel awkward.

Other Don’ts

Don’t:

tell dirty jokes
get naked
encourage anybody else to get naked
get wasted
get wasted and  naked
be mean to the  bride
be mean to the bride’s mother, grandmother, sister, best friend, etc.

If you follow these simple rules, you should be fine.  If you think of something other than one of these things to do to offend people, PULEASE write to tell me about it.

Profile of a Halloween Wedding

This is going to be a snark-free post – just so you know.  If you want the customary snark, toddle on over to the weird laws site because we’ve been plenty snarky on that one lately.

Last year I was honored to attend an unconventional kind of wedding.  In fact, my hubs was part of the wedding party.  The wedding took place on Halloween, and I decided that since the happy couple’s one year anniversary approacheth, that that I would not only tell you about the happy day, I’d let the bride do it.  Megan was nice enough to answer some questions for me and send me some photos, so enjoy!

The wedding party

1.  What made you choose Halloween as your wedding date?

I absolutely adore Halloween! It has always been my favorite holiday. The dressing up, the scary decorations, the fall weather and of course, fall foods, like sweet potatoes! My daughters are the same way and dressing up is just plain fun! You can be all the things that aren’t “real” the other 364 days of the year.  And everyone knows Jamie loves anything dark and gory! Add to that our family’s love of anything macabre and you get the perfect day for our wedding. Not to mention it is an easy date for the groom to remember! The movie “The Corpse Bride” sealed the deal, it was the inspiration for the whole thing.

2.  Who did you choose to officiate your ceremony, and how did you know him/her?

Leighton Paquette preformed the ceremony. My aunt introduced him to us. The amazing thing was, I really only got to talk to him a couple of times. Maybe the longest conversation was an hour. And yet he nailed it. Jamie and I aren’t your typical couple. We’re square pegs trying to fit into a world of round holes. And Leighton got that. It wasn’t your typical stuffy or religious ceremony, it was ours and it was perfect. He said let him know if you have any questions for him. However,he wasn’t licensed to make it legal so another friend of the family who is filled out our marriage license.

Ceremony
3.  What was the significance of having your wedding on Halloween?

LOL we got to dress up and be yet ourselves and for once no one gave us strange looks for it. I’ve always felt like Halloween is an opportunity for those of us who are a little…..out there, to be truly free of society’s expectations for one night.

4.  What did you choose as your attire for the wedding and why?

I wanted to go with something fairy like but without dealing with wings. My mother, Debbie deTreville, is a wonderful seamstress, and she and my step-father, Jason Allen, designed a beautiful dress just by listening to me babble about a few I had seen that I liked. I wanted fairy-tale without the poofy Cinderella dress. It was a beautiful royal purple with iridescent wing like pieces attached at the upper arms and wrists. They both worked incredibly hard until the wee hours of the morning to get everything completed on time. They also did almost all of the decorations and all of the flowers. Jason (Jae) also carved several exquisite pumpkins to grace the tables.
Megan Baker
5.  What did the groom choose as his attire for the wedding and why?

Jamie wore a black suit and red shirt and black top hat with a skull topped cane. He chose that mainly because I wouldn’t let him wear jeans and the “tuxedo t-shit”. However, he looked wonderful in it. He picked it all out himself and I have to say, his taste was fabulous.

Jame Megan Samantha and Jessica

6.  What were your instructions to your wedding party as to how they should dress?

We told them to wear whatever costume they wanted only to keep in mind there would be children in attendance. As lond as no one dressed like a bride or groom we were fine with it. We ended up with 2 Greek goddesses, a Renaissance princess, and a disco diva as bridesmaids, and a bodyguard, a convict, a pirate and Einstein as groomsman. Our oldest Samantha was a perfect little fairy flower-girl and the younger one, Jessica, was a spooky skeleton fairy ring bearer, which was all their idea and matched their personalities. My grandfather gave me away as Grandpa Munster aka Dracula. It was all so perfect!

Jamie, Megan and her Grandaddy

7.  What were your requests/suggestions to your wedding guests as to how they should dress?

We asked everyone to either choose a costume or to wear something afternoon wedding appropriate. We did however, ask that everyone be respectful of the children who would be in attendance and not wear anything too scary or risky. As it turned out, everyone who turned up was in  costume except a couple grandparents who wore church clothes, and with the rest of the costumes floating around, they looked like it was a purposeful Halloween choice.

Jamie, Megan and Jamie's grandparents Robert and Diana

8.  What type of music did you choose for the reception?

A very eclectic mix spun out by my dad, Kevin Carter who also helped my Aunt Kerstan with photos. we tried to stick with classic rock and roll and a few Halloween themed songs. Since it was a pretty neutral ground for me and Jamie.

Megan with her dress designing parents, Debbie and Jason

9.  What was your first dance song and why?

“Always with me Always with you” by Joe Satriani.

Jamie introduced that song to me early in our relationship and it just became our song. He even used to play parts from it for me on the guitar.

10.  After one year of wedded bliss, how do you plan to celebrate your anniversary?

Maybe with a night out just the two of us….that’s a rare enough occurrence. Trick-or-Treating with the kids will top off our weekend.

Thank you, Megan, for telling us about your special day, and for letting our readers know that it’s fine to be yourself and do what YOU want to do on your wedding day.

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Groomsmen Gifts: A Modern Tradition

October 4, 2010 by  
Filed under Bridal Parties, Featured

There are many old traditions still visible in today’s modern wedding. One of the most obvious is the best man and groomsmen standing next to the groom during the ceremony. We now see this custom as an opportunity to involve our friends and close family members in our big day, but at one time the groomsmen were seen to guard the bride until she was married to her husband and new protector.

These days the groomsmen often help out with the arrangements and tasks leading up to the wedding, and most importantly keep the groom smiling no matter how stressful the wedding plans get. A modern tradition is that the groom gives each member of his wedding party a gift on the day of the wedding to say thank you for helping out. Whether your groomsmen gifts are traditional or modern is completely up to you.

groomsmen

Traditional groomsmen gifts offer a touch of class and remind us of an era our grandparents might recognize more easily than we would. A watch was a traditional gift for any big occasion, from graduation to retirement. The symbolism of a watch varies depending on your culture, but in North American it’s often seen as a wish for long life.

Other traditional groomsmen gifts are flasks, cufflinks and money clips. While most of use don’t wear shirts with cufflink holes, keep a flask in our hip pocket and prefer a debit card to a wad of cash, the timeless significance of these gifts is what makes them special.

A modern groomsman gift generally reflects the taste of the man receiving it. It could be sports related, like a golf set or a baseball bat engraved with the date of the wedding and the groomsman’s name. For a groomsman who travels frequently a leather carry-on featuring his initials, or a travel case for his grooming kit also makes a thoughtful gift.

No matter which route you choose, traditional or modern, adding personalization to the gift will remind your groomsmen of your big day and the important role they played in it. You can add their monogrammed initials, the wedding date and even the bride and groom’s names to many different types of gifts.

It’s important to think about each of your groomsmen and choose a gift that suits his personality and taste. Choosing the right gift is the best way to show just how well you know the men standing by your side and how much you appreciate them being there for you on your wedding day.

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Worst Bridesmaid Dresses

Bridesmaid.  The word has varying effects on people, depending on their past experiences.  For some, it was an honor just to be asked.  For others, it was a taffeta nightmare.

Some brides choose bridesmaid dresses that they are absolutely sure their bridesmaids will look terrible in.  That’s called, “I have low self esteem and want to make sure I’m the prettiest one in my pictures.”  Other brides have some bridesmaids that will look good in a particular dress, and others who WON’T look good in it.  “It’s not on purpose, Amy.  You’re just fat, is all.”

Other times, brides will choose bridesmaid dresses that they think are absolutely beautiful.  They’d be happy to wear the dress, if they were not the bride, but only a mere bridesmaid.  “And the best thing about it is you can shorten it and wear it again.”  Right?  RIGHT?

Just because it’s fun, and because we sometimes all need a laugh, here are some bridesmaid dresses that are sure to make you glad she DIDN’T ask you.

floppy hats and weirdo flowersfloppy hats and weirdo flowersThis is an easy one to start off on, because this picture is clearly from the seventies, and those dresses are probably still in tact somewhere, because that grade of polyester has the shelf life of a Twinkie.  And you know about Twinkies.

choir groupAgain, we can chalk this up to the crazy days of hallucinogenic drugs and free love.  I just wonder why that one lady on the end got to wear a cape.  Where are all the rest of the capes?  That’s what that brown -haired lady on the other end is thinking, “Where the … is my cape?”

ho ho hoThis one might be even older, but I think that any bride that forces you to dress like Mrs. Claus deserves to have a little Ex Lax slipped into her egg nog.  Just sayin’.

red and whiteThis might very well be from the Eighties, but to me this picture is like one of those “Can you find all the things that are wrong in this picture” things.  Yes.  Yes I can.

blue parasolsThe only thing that would make this OK is if they just came from their dance recital.

blue shinyAnd what you can’t see is the knife in the bridesmaid’s OTHER hand.

gold lameAnd all of the sudden there were a lot of very cold Solid Gold dancers…

flowered and puffyAnd because of this dress, this is the only bridesmaid that showed up.  No, seriously though.  There was only enough fabric for one dress – IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

accordianWha?

victorian nightmareForsooth and verily.  I think I’m gonna puke.

dreamsiclethere’s this

pink whatand this

turquoise whoaand this.  Now tulle is extinct and satin is on the endangered list.

rainbow of awfulnesslike you do.

orange you gladNotice that the bride is wearing camouflage.  That means those dresses are “safety” or “blaze” orange.  Presumably so nobody shoots the bridesmaids during the ceremony.

guys to orange you gladAt the reception, however, all bets are off.

wingsCome on.  Really?

showgirlsThe brunette looks embarrassed, and we can’t even see her face.

whatever floats your boatYet, strangely, none of these people look embarrassed.

naked weddingAnd neither do any of these people.  Can you imagine the phone call on this one?  “Amy, will you be a bridesmaid in my wedding?”  “Um, I don’t really have enough money for  a dress.”  “Oh, that’s OK.  You’ll just need to wear black pumps, a g-string, and some pasties.”  “Wow.  It’s so nice of you to let us wear what we just wear to work.”  “Oh, it’s no problem.  The hat I’m wearing is so amazing that nobody will even notice your nakedness, so I’m sorry about that, but at least Joey’s going to wear his stripey socks and that Elvis clown mask he wore when he got arrested for snorting sand that time.”  “Oh yeah.  Joey’s such a trip.  See you at the wedding!”

What?  I make my own fun.  I swiped a lot of these pictures from Tacky Weddings.  Stay classy.

Beat The Heat – Summer Wedding Weather Survival

Summer weddings are popular for a number of reasons:  the brilliant sunshine, the ready abundance of flowers and plants, and the overall sense of energy and vibrant life that comes with the season.  These sunny celebrations of love and eternity do present a seemingly inescapable fact of nature: the heat.   Not to be dissuaded; however, countless couples choose to tie the knot outdoors during the summer.

flamehead by Cayusa

flamehead by Cayusa

Fear not!  Surviving the sweltering temperatures is easily accomplished for both the guests and the bride and groom.  Here are a few simple tips for keeping your cool:

  1. If you’re invited to a summer fete, choose a light-colored outfit (avoiding white, of course).  The light colors will help reflect the sun’s rays and keep you cooler than dark colors.  Also, if you wear a dress, avoid long skirts.  Knee length or mid calf skirt will allow for the movement of air without smothering your legs.
  2. If you have long hair (bride or guest), wearing your hair up will work wonders to keep your neck and shoulders cool and pleasantly un-sweaty.
  3. Stay hydrated.  One of the number one dangers during any summertime celebration is dehydration.  Keep cool beverages on hand.  This can be especially important for the bride and groom, as she is likely to be weigh down under layers of a heavy wedding gown, while he’ll be sporting a fetching (but also heavy) tuxedo.
  4. Try to stay in the shade.  Avoiding the direct sunlight can help keep you cool as well as avoiding sunburn.  Sunscreen is a must for outdoor ceremonies.  No one wants a blistering sunburn as their thank-you note for attending.
jasmined - sweaty guy photo

jasmined - sweaty guy photo

So don’t dread the long ceremony in the sun.  With proper planning and a little common sense, disaster can be avoided and you can cut loose and celebrate with the proper enthusiasm, without worrying about the heat.