The Truth About Bridesmaids Dresses

“You will be able to wear it again”.

One of the biggest lies ever told about bridesmaids’ dresses.  This tall tale has been passed on for ages and the time has come to put an end to it.  It can be said that just about any woman, aged 30 and under,  has had  in her possession at least two bridesmaid’s dresses hanging in a dark corner, way in back of her closet.   And what about the matching shoes?  Let’s not even go there!   In the past, especially up until the mid 80’s, bridesmaids dresses were easily recognized, due to their pastel colors, huge bows on the butt, shiny fabrics and profusion of lace oozing from every sleeve, collar and hem.  We challenge these women to get up the nerve to wear these one-time wonders to any other function without feeling the least bit self-conscious.  Yes, bridemaid’s dresses have evolved over the years; and most now can be described as being in some kind of in-between “style limbo“…not quite looking like a bridemaid’s  dress, but still not something to be worn to any other important function.  This is especially true if the bride’s circle of friends is small, and attend many of the same social events.   Who wants to risk being seen in the same get-up?

The cold hard fact is this:  No matter what she may tell you, bridesmaids dresses are more often than not, chosen by the bride and selected with only one day in mind:  Her wedding day.  This is hardwired into her bridal subconscious.   She is unable to help herself, and so should be forgiven. Sure, she may feel guilty about the cost, but usually not at the expense of giving up her dream wedding ideas.   Any potential bridesmaid should be aware of this, and if the request is reasonable enough, be prepared to “suck it up”.

However, this doesn’t leave the bride “off the hook” completely.  She should be sensitive enough to consider each attendant’s best features, and choose colors, styles and fabrics that complement them as a whole.  It may also be a wise move for the bride to organize a meeting and have a civilized group discussion prior to selection.  Fabric swatches and a variety of styles should be made available for study; and if there are any out-of-town attendants, samples and photos should also be dispatched to them as quickly as possible.   In this way, a consensus can be made.

Let’s face it:  In all honesty, the odds of wearing these dresses again are most likely slim to none.   However, the fun and hilarity that goes along with the dress selection process can create memories that will last a lifetime; and  that for entertainment value alone, history will eventually show that it was  a couple hundred of dollars well spent.  Don’t believe me?  Go back and take a look at your mother’s wedding album.

Wedding Fashion Trends for 2011

You’ve been dreaming of the day since the first time you draped a piece of lace over your head and pretended to be a bride. Now, you actually are a bride and it’s time to choose all the little details of your own bridal look. Of course, you want to look classic and timeless at your engagement—these are pictures you will treasure for the rest of your life. But every year’s runways bring with them modern trends and twists that can apply beautifully to a bridal ensemble. The key is subtlety—you never want to look dated or super-trendy, only modern and fresh. By choosing design elements you love and incorporating them into a classic bridal look, you will look up-to-date and elegant without worrying that you will one day regret your big hair or voluminous lace collar. It’s very similar to engagement ring shopping—you want to incorporate new and fresh designs into a framework that is very classic and traditional.

The 2011 runways provided many brides with exciting new bridal fashion ideas. Badgley Mischka showed a 1920’s-inspired look, with dropped waist dresses, art deco jewelry elements and geometric draped fabric. Brides can incorporate that art deco look into their wedding day ensemble with geometric beading and simple silhouettes. Carolina Herrera offered a cheerful but sophisticated runway show, with elegant but bold details and interesting asymmetrical silhouettes. Brides can incorporate the look with delicate details and subtle prints in their bridal gowns. Designer Monique Lhullier, known for her ultra-feminine looks, is perfect for bridal inspiration. Her runway show offered pastel looks with lush tulle draping, flowing chiffon, and dramatic use of ruffles. All these fun details—tulle, chiffon, ruching and ruffles—work perfectly for the girly bride. Meanwhile, Nicole Miller prefigured the Kate Middleton inspired look that is sure to become the biggest bridal trend of the year—the daring but modest v-neckline on an otherwise classic dress.

For a quick cheat sheet on the must-have bridal fashion trends for 2011, check out these top ten trends. Choose one or two for a bridal ensemble that is current and up-to-date without going overboard with every option!

1. Sleeves.

Experts predicted that Kate Middleton would wear sleeves to her traditional Westminster Abbey wedding ceremony, but when audiences around the world saw her beautiful sheer lace long sleeves, calls went out to bridal ateliers around the world. Sleeves are unexpected, fashionable, classy, and flatter every figure.

2. V-necks.

With long sleeves, a crew neckline can seem a little frumpy, while a scoop neck can seem over-exposed. A narrow but deep v-neck shows a little sexy skin, without revealing too much, and also helps elongate the figure, making you look tall and thin. And who doesn’t want that?

3. Color.

Expect to see more and more brides opt out of the de rigeur white bridal dress in 2011, and walk down the aisle in gowns that are pink, gray, or even purple. For less adventurous brides, adding a shot of color through colored gemstone jewelry, a ribbon sash, or a great pair of shoes can be a great way to personalize a classic dress.

4. Vintage.

Not only are vintage dresses unique and fashionable, but they are eco-friendly too, which more and more brides care about. Finding the perfect vintage dress that is retro without looking dated, and then getting it altered to fit you perfectly, can be more of a challenge than brides expect. Leave yourself plenty of time to search for that perfect dress, and be prepared to replace parts that are faded or out of date.

5. Colored shoes or comfortable ballet flats.

Brides are no longer stuck wearing boring white satin pumps. You can add a sassy pair of red patent leather heels, a vintage-inspired pair of suede booties, or beaded flat sandals, to tailor your dress to your wedding. Some brides are even choosing to skip the heels altogether and wearing comfortable, neutral-tone ballet flats so they can dance all night without blisters!

6. Hats.

If one trend is likely to cross the pond after the royal wedding, it is the elegant and quirky British mini-hat known as the fascinator. These small hair ornaments are attached to the head with clips or combs, and can be decorated with anything from feather to flowers to genuine gems. Trendy brides are topping bridal fascinators with retro birdcage veils for a bridal look that is totally 2011.

7. Short gowns.

One continuing trend in wedding planning is simple, casual events where guests can wear comfortable clothes and eat fun, unfussy food while dancing to Top 40 hits. Weddings like these call for short bridal dresses like linen sundresses and little white cocktail dresses, so the bride can party til dawn with her guests.

8. Groom fashion.

Grooms have a lot more options than the basic black tuxedo. Dress your fiancé in a cute and trendy gray suit, or dress up a classic tuxedo with a colored vest or tie in your wedding colors. If your guy is leaning towards a simple, dressed-down look, suggest that he pair a casual pair of slacks with a linen blazer for a classic summer look.

9. Hair accessories.

Bridal hairstyles remain simple for 2011, with most brides choosing to wear their hair down in loose waves or pulled back softly in loose chignons. But the trend is in the ornamentation, with modern, trendy brides choosing creative hair ornaments like clips, combs and even tiaras embellished with rhinestones, crystals and even gemstones.

10. Wedding colors.

Moving away from boring pastels, brides are choosing summer wedding colors that reflect their personalities. Fun colors like turquoise and coral add a tropical feeling to a summer wedding, while subtle hues like latte, slate gray, and muted yellow make a sophisticated, elegant impression. Black and white wedding colors remain popular, but the number one bridal color of the year is the official Pantone color of the year—honeysuckle. This fun, upbeat shade of pink is confident, courageous, and looks great on everyone.

Select ideal engagement rings of your dream from online shop whiteflash.com. Best purveyor of bracelets, engagement rings, diamond studs, GIA certified diamonds and other jewelry – Whiteflash.com.

Related articles

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• 5 Cool Bridal Wedding Registries Couples Will Love (verybestsites.com)
• Top 7 Green Wedding Ideas (weddingsetups.com)
• Ideas for your Vintage Wedding: Creations And Inspirations (covellifashion.wordpress.com)

Why Choose A Beach Wedding Dress

Today, modern brides are truly blessed because they have an option not to wear heavy and formal gowns by choosing a beach themed marriage. In this kind of wedding, brides do not have to fret about choosing a formal robe because they will be able to only wear a beach marriage dress.

Why select a beach marriage dress

Indeed, in all of the modern concepts of wedding, beach theme is one of the most well liked. Due to this popularity, a beach wedding dress has become a common option for this themed wedding as they are straightforward to pick and to hold.

For most brides, a beach marriage dress is the most appropriate marriage dress because it needs smaller time in finding what to wear for the occasion. Since they can save time, brides who prefer wearing a beach marriage dress can have more time to plan and carry out details of the complete rite.

Aside from being hassle free, a beach wedding dress is also ideal because it can provide you utmost comfort in this stressful time. It is also less costly compared to the traditional wedding gowns out there because a beach wedding dress usually come in simple cuts and designs meant for the location.

Also, before buying a beach wedding dress, ensure that this is intended to cling to the contours of your body. A beach marriage dress should be pared down and slim fit to ensure that you wont be distracted once the wind caught the hem or any bit of your dress. Perfect options for a beach marriage dress include straight-line marriage dresses, mermaid cut marriage dresses and those that are princess line cut to ensure that you can move about easily. Aside from portability because of lightweight material, also make sure that the beach wedding dress is simple to move by avoiding too much detail or accessories on it.

Choosing a beach marriage dress

Although it would appear simple, easy, there are major concerns when you select a beach wedding dress. The 1st major consideration in choosing a wedding dress should be the climate of the destination. Determining the climate is very important because this can affect your overall comfort in the wedding. Make sure that you have checked with the local weather station branch the common climate for the area before setting your final wedding date. If the area is wet or subject to storm, it is best to look for a beach that in a tropical country that the weather would not ruin your special date.

Next consideration would be the average temperature. If the beach where the function will occur is in a tropical country like in Boracay, Philippines, go for a beach wedding gown that is formed cotton or something that will let the air pass thru. Except for the material used, also choose designs that will let you breathe from the tough heat of the area. Ideal cuts are sleeveless, tube, strapless, or off-the-shoulder ones because these can offer you with final comfort in spite of actual exposure to the beach.

The sort of fabric is also a big consideration. If you are choosing a beach marriage dress for your big and special day, make sure that you select those that are styles and cuts made from fabrics that are lightweight such as organza or chiffon. This can guarantee that you’re going to be comfortable regardless of the tough winds and heat of the beach.

Looking for more ideas to help you choose the perfect wedding gown? Visit yourweddinggowns.com to read about various types of bridal dresses, you may also want to take a look at informal wedding gowns.

photo by sekundo

Choosing the Perfect Wedding Dress

When little girls spend their maths classes daydreaming of weddings what do they dream of first? The perfect wedding dress: a gown in ideal embellishments, and sweeping train, the perfect embellishments, and the ideal shoes.

Many brides are lucky. They may search high and low, braving chilly dept stores and in your face bridal shops, but eventually they come face-to-face with The One. They know this is The One as they start crying, or their mother or chums all start crying instantly. All of the planning …. the theme, the right sort of venues …. it all springs to life.

Other brides are not as lucky. They’ve searched just as hard, working their way thru shops across 3 or four states, but they haven’t found The One. Instead, they’ve found three or 4 Contenders, all of which are serviceable and nice, but not earth-shattering sufficient to tell them that now is definitely time to stop the searching and get on with the planning. These brides have it harder.

Even if you are the first kind of bride, purchasing the dress is such a significant call that you run a risk of falling into that wallet-skinning category known as the Two-Dress Bride. Here are some tips for picking the ideal dress and avoiding that horrible fate.

1. Bring the entourage, but don’t buy. It is fun and helpful to bring your mum, mates or sisters on the dress-shopping expedition. It gives you a buffer against an overbearing sales staff, and it’s entertaining to see if your impressions of perfection are shared by your family, not to say how they will love being part of such an important decision. But no matter how ardent everybody gets over a certain dress, don’t buy in the heat of the moment. Give yourself time to rethink and buy with a cool head later, alone. The vast majority of dresses are non-returnable, so when you have purchased it, you’ve bought it.
2. Don’t buy too early unless you may. Bridal gowns can take four to 10 coming months to come from the manufacturer, but there isn’t any reason to buy over a year previously, unless your selected style is going to be abandoned. Give yourself some time to sit on your decision. Once you pick a robe, you can see one hundred others nearly like it. You can become a walking encyclopedia on that style of gown. All the better if you have room to choose.
3. If you have acquired “The One,” stop shopping. Any more window-shopping at this point will only lead you down the line toward the dreary land of Two-Dress Brides. What you want to do instead is remember that blissful feeling of having tried on The One. Go get The One out of the closet, put it on and stand before the mirror. You will remember precisely why it’s the One.
4. If you have acquired “The One” and can’t stop shopping, get a second opinion. Show your first and 2nd selections to other brides. Be honest — tell them you have already remortgaged your apartment for the 1st dress, but you suspect this second dress might be It. They are going to be truthful, too — the 1st one was better. You can feel reassured.
5. Don’t tell yourself “I’ll sell the old dress and select a new one.” This old saw of the Two-Dress Bride just will not work. You’ll never get more than a fraction of what you paid for your first dress if you bought it new.
6. Don’t be scared to target high — regardless of what your position. Some brides knew from the start they wanted a designer label, but life just failed to cooperate by making them heiresses. Yet all is not lost if you’re willing to buy courageously. At any given moment, a better-heeled bride is selling her once-used St. Pucchi or Ulla-Maija on eBay. She paid thousands on thousands, but you, smart client, will pay half that or less. To take this road, you need to shop earlier than other brides so you’ll have a choice of gowns.
7. Shop on the internet, but never send a check. Bridal robe companies infrequently have a technique of vanishing overnite. Whatever what the proprietor tells you, never make a purchase as large as a wedding gown without the chargeback protection of a Credit card . If they say they won’t take plastic, move on.
8. Don’t hold out forever for The One. Some brides never find The One. What they do find is some dresses they look handsome in. If you are this bride, try beginning your planning from the theme rather than the dress. You will potentially finally get sick to death of dress shopping. When that happens, “good enough” actually will be ok. Focus on other sides of the wedding that mean a lot to you, like the venue, the food, or the inevitable adoration of your soon-to-be husband.

Choosing the right wedding dress for your wedding can be a tough decision, visit yourweddinggowns.com and find your own wedding dress.

Buying or Renting a Tuxedo

So you have been invited to a formal event and the invitation reads “black tie required”. What this means is that you have to wear a tuxedo, vest or cummerbund, black bow tie, and tuxedo dress shirt. If you don’t already own a tuxedo and are thinking about if spending the money on a tuxedo will be a good investment, than this brief article will help you decide whether to buy or rent. Below are a few deciding factors to consider:

Frequency of Use

If black tie events will be a more frequent occurrence for you in the future, that buying a tuxedo is most likely the better option. Renting a complete tuxedo consisting of tuxedo shirt, black bow tie, tuxedo shoes, cummerbund or vest, and the tuxedo itself, will usually cost between $80 and $120. Buying a quality set made from fine wool will range between $400 and $600. Keep in mind that classic tuxedo’s will never go out of style. It is very traditional attire that has been around for more than two centuries. So if you plan on attending a black tie event more than 5 times in the next few years than buying a new tuxedo will be the way to go.

Lifestyle Changes

Besides frequency of use, your lifestyle has some impact on the buy vs. rent decision. If you know that you might be moving quite frequently due to your job or family, then minimizing your wardrobe will make moving much easier. Also think about how much closet space you have available. If you are living in a small New York studio, then adding an entire new outfit to your wardrobe might be unpractical. The tuxedo should be hung in a somewhat ventilated area to protect the fabric and lining. Stuffing it into a duffel bag is not an option.

Weight & Body Changes

Think about if you will keep the same body type. If you are currently over weight and have set the goal to yourself to lose 20 pounds, then wait to buy your tuxedo until you have accomplished your goal. Having spent a good amount of money on your new outfit might be a nice additional motivation to keep the pounds off once lost.

So, take the few pointers above into consideration before you head to the mall ready to spend the hard earned cash. Weather you choose to rent or buy your tuxedo, do some research on the place you are purchasing from. A quick search on the internet on customer reviews will usually be a good starting point.

Mr Pohl is a regular author for articles related to men’s fashion. He himself has a passion for wearing designer neckties and bow ties.

Tips for Choosing a Wedding Dress

If you grew up like I did with a romantic vision of what my wedding should be like, then no matter how many questions there are to ask yourself, you’re sure of one thing, it needs to be perfect. Nowadays not everyone appears as concerned about finding the perfect dress, but for most of us – deep inside – it really does matter.

As soon as you begin planning or the big day, choosing your wedding dress becomes an urgent need for most brides. Nobody wants to wait. While dealing with wedding stress and preparations, be sure to allow yourself plenty of time to try on different styles and find the one who says “you”. Read more

Saving Money on Your Wedding Dress

If you are on a tight budget the cost of a special order wedding dress can be a little bit hard to swallow. But what can you do? Yes, you will only wear the dress once, but it is your wedding – quite possibly the most important day of your life. You want a wedding dress that looks fabulous.

Stay Unique – Make your Own Wedding Dress

Shopping for the right wedding dress can be a painful experience and after you have seen six or seven it may feel like you have seen them all. Your wedding day is probably one of the biggest days in your life and you want to look and feel amazing. If you wish for something special and tailored to your personal taste then why not have your own work of art created?

When choosing the fabric for your wedding dress think about, style, design structure and comfort. There is a big difference between buying a dress from a retailer and choosing the material that is tailored towards your personality and exclusive taste.

It maybe that you are one for sticking to the tradition and opt for a white silk/ ivory dress that screams white wedding. However there are various materials around that would make your dress extra special and unique. This is your big day and if you want to make a statement then think about fabrics and colour.

Smooth Lurex Dupion

A luxurious fabric which contains 39% Lurex to make it easier to work with. It would be perfect for the most structured and slim fitting dress. The finish of this silk has a slight glimmer that really catches the light with the main colours being ivory and dark ivory.

Lurex Organza

This is a very fine, sheer and light fabric that provides a fairytale glimmer.  It is made from 64% Lurex 36% silk and is perfect for overlays, veils, trains and the trimming of full skirts.

Lurex Taffeta

This is a rough cut, traditional fabric that would be suitable for a big dress and structured styles as it is quite heavy. If you are looking for the ball room gown style wedding dress then this choice of fabric would be right for you. It has a slight shimmer that provides an edge of difference without being too over the top. It is is 64% Lurex and 36% silk.

Spot Embroidered Organza

If you are looking to add a little variety to your wedding dress this embroidered, 100% silk, definitely gives you originality. The silk has been finished will embroidered spots to simply give a cute and elegant touch.

This fabric would be perfect for the Basque of a wedding dress as it provides eye catching detail but it doesn’t want to be over used as it could overkill the final look of your dress. A little detail is more effective than masses.

Sparkling Organza

A stunning and ever so elegant silk that really captures attention

If you are planning a Christmas wedding or simply love the thought of glimmering as you walk down the aisle then this fabric would be suitable for you. It is finished off with small eye catching sequins which make this fabric unique. With being 100% silk, the fabric would be perfect for the overlay on the tail of your dress.

Your wedding day is special and you should take certain factors into consideration before jumping straight in with the first idea. If you are never too sure then take a couple of friends with you and look through the sample books.

This short guide was brought to you by James Hare, specialists in silk fashion and designer fabrics.

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Profile of a Halloween Wedding

This is going to be a snark-free post – just so you know.  If you want the customary snark, toddle on over to the weird laws site because we’ve been plenty snarky on that one lately.

Last year I was honored to attend an unconventional kind of wedding.  In fact, my hubs was part of the wedding party.  The wedding took place on Halloween, and I decided that since the happy couple’s one year anniversary approacheth, that that I would not only tell you about the happy day, I’d let the bride do it.  Megan was nice enough to answer some questions for me and send me some photos, so enjoy!

1.  What made you choose Halloween as your wedding date?

I absolutely adore Halloween! It has always been my favorite holiday. The dressing up, the scary decorations, the fall weather and of course, fall foods, like sweet potatoes! My daughters are the same way and dressing up is just plain fun! You can be all the things that aren’t “real” the other 364 days of the year.  And everyone knows Jamie loves anything dark and gory! Add to that our family’s love of anything macabre and you get the perfect day for our wedding. Not to mention it is an easy date for the groom to remember! The movie “The Corpse Bride” sealed the deal, it was the inspiration for the whole thing.

2.  Who did you choose to officiate your ceremony, and how did you know him/her?

Leighton Paquette preformed the ceremony. My aunt introduced him to us. The amazing thing was, I really only got to talk to him a couple of times. Maybe the longest conversation was an hour. And yet he nailed it. Jamie and I aren’t your typical couple. We’re square pegs trying to fit into a world of round holes. And Leighton got that. It wasn’t your typical stuffy or religious ceremony, it was ours and it was perfect. He said let him know if you have any questions for him. However,he wasn’t licensed to make it legal so another friend of the family who is filled out our marriage license.

3.  What was the significance of having your wedding on Halloween?

LOL we got to dress up and be yet ourselves and for once no one gave us strange looks for it. I’ve always felt like Halloween is an opportunity for those of us who are a little…..out there, to be truly free of society’s expectations for one night.

4.  What did you choose as your attire for the wedding and why?

I wanted to go with something fairy like but without dealing with wings. My mother, Debbie deTreville, is a wonderful seamstress, and she and my step-father, Jason Allen, designed a beautiful dress just by listening to me babble about a few I had seen that I liked. I wanted fairy-tale without the poofy Cinderella dress. It was a beautiful royal purple with iridescent wing like pieces attached at the upper arms and wrists. They both worked incredibly hard until the wee hours of the morning to get everything completed on time. They also did almost all of the decorations and all of the flowers. Jason (Jae) also carved several exquisite pumpkins to grace the tables.

5.  What did the groom choose as his attire for the wedding and why?

Jamie wore a black suit and red shirt and black top hat with a skull topped cane. He chose that mainly because I wouldn’t let him wear jeans and the “tuxedo t-shit”. However, he looked wonderful in it. He picked it all out himself and I have to say, his taste was fabulous.

6.  What were your instructions to your wedding party as to how they should dress?

We told them to wear whatever costume they wanted only to keep in mind there would be children in attendance. As lond as no one dressed like a bride or groom we were fine with it. We ended up with 2 Greek goddesses, a Renaissance princess, and a disco diva as bridesmaids, and a bodyguard, a convict, a pirate and Einstein as groomsman. Our oldest Samantha was a perfect little fairy flower-girl and the younger one, Jessica, was a spooky skeleton fairy ring bearer, which was all their idea and matched their personalities. My grandfather gave me away as Grandpa Munster aka Dracula. It was all so perfect!

7.  What were your requests/suggestions to your wedding guests as to how they should dress?

We asked everyone to either choose a costume or to wear something afternoon wedding appropriate. We did however, ask that everyone be respectful of the children who would be in attendance and not wear anything too scary or risky. As it turned out, everyone who turned up was in  costume except a couple grandparents who wore church clothes, and with the rest of the costumes floating around, they looked like it was a purposeful Halloween choice.

8.  What type of music did you choose for the reception?

A very eclectic mix spun out by my dad, Kevin Carter who also helped my Aunt Kerstan with photos. we tried to stick with classic rock and roll and a few Halloween themed songs. Since it was a pretty neutral ground for me and Jamie.

9.  What was your first dance song and why?

“Always with me Always with you” by Joe Satriani.

Jamie introduced that song to me early in our relationship and it just became our song. He even used to play parts from it for me on the guitar.

10.  After one year of wedded bliss, how do you plan to celebrate your anniversary?

Maybe with a night out just the two of us….that’s a rare enough occurrence. Trick-or-Treating with the kids will top off our weekend.

Thank you, Megan, for telling us about your special day, and for letting our readers know that it’s fine to be yourself and do what YOU want to do on your wedding day.

Related articles

• How to Choose a Wedding Theme (weddingsetups.com)
• Traditional wedding ceremony of ethnic minority in northern Vietnam (lookatvietnam.com)
• Choosing gifts for your Wedding Groomsmen (weddingsetups.com)
• Top 10 Posts from 2010, Continued (budgetawedding.com)

Worst Bridesmaid Dresses

Bridesmaid.  The word has varying effects on people, depending on their past experiences.  For some, it was an honor just to be asked.  For others, it was a taffeta nightmare.

Some brides choose bridesmaid dresses that they are absolutely sure their bridesmaids will look terrible in.  That’s called, “I have low self esteem and want to make sure I’m the prettiest one in my pictures.”  Other brides have some bridesmaids that will look good in a particular dress, and others who WON’T look good in it.  “It’s not on purpose, Amy.  You’re just fat, is all.”

Other times, brides will choose bridesmaid dresses that they think are absolutely beautiful.  They’d be happy to wear the dress, if they were not the bride, but only a mere bridesmaid.  “And the best thing about it is you can shorten it and wear it again.”  Right?  RIGHT?

Just because it’s fun, and because we sometimes all need a laugh, here are some bridesmaid dresses that are sure to make you glad she DIDN’T ask you.

This is an easy one to start off on, because this picture is clearly from the seventies, and those dresses are probably still in tact somewhere, because that grade of polyester has the shelf life of a Twinkie.  And you know about Twinkies.

Again, we can chalk this up to the crazy days of hallucinogenic drugs and free love.  I just wonder why that one lady on the end got to wear a cape.  Where are all the rest of the capes?  That’s what that brown -haired lady on the other end is thinking, “Where the … is my cape?”

This one might be even older, but I think that any bride that forces you to dress like Mrs. Claus deserves to have a little Ex Lax slipped into her egg nog.  Just sayin’.

This might very well be from the Eighties, but to me this picture is like one of those “Can you find all the things that are wrong in this picture” things.  Yes.  Yes I can.

The only thing that would make this OK is if they just came from their dance recital.

And what you can’t see is the knife in the bridesmaid’s OTHER hand.

And all of the sudden there were a lot of very cold Solid Gold dancers…

And because of this dress, this is the only bridesmaid that showed up.  No, seriously though.  There was only enough fabric for one dress – IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Wha?

Forsooth and verily.  I think I’m gonna puke.

there’s this

and this

and this.  Now tulle is extinct and satin is on the endangered list.

like you do.

Notice that the bride is wearing camouflage.  That means those dresses are “safety” or “blaze” orange.  Presumably so nobody shoots the bridesmaids during the ceremony.

At the reception, however, all bets are off.

Come on.  Really?

The brunette looks embarrassed, and we can’t even see her face.

Yet, strangely, none of these people look embarrassed.

And neither do any of these people.  Can you imagine the phone call on this one?  “Amy, will you be a bridesmaid in my wedding?”  “Um, I don’t really have enough money for  a dress.”  “Oh, that’s OK.  You’ll just need to wear black pumps, a g-string, and some pasties.”  “Wow.  It’s so nice of you to let us wear what we just wear to work.”  “Oh, it’s no problem.  The hat I’m wearing is so amazing that nobody will even notice your nakedness, so I’m sorry about that, but at least Joey’s going to wear his stripey socks and that Elvis clown mask he wore when he got arrested for snorting sand that time.”  “Oh yeah.  Joey’s such a trip.  See you at the wedding!”

What?  I make my own fun.  I swiped a lot of these pictures from Tacky Weddings.  Stay classy.

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