Bad Daughter/Dad Wedding Dance Songs

Wedding Gal's Snarky Cousin — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:50:12 +0000

Okay, y’all. Let’s have a little talk about the first dance with your dad. Call it the Father/Daughter Dance, the Daddy/Daughter Dance, The Give The Bride Away Dance, whatever. There are songs that are just PERFECT for this particular part of the most special day of your life, and then there are songs that you should absolutely, no matter what, stay away from.

Obviously, if you have a special song that you used to dance to with your daddy – your little socked feet atop his shiny shoes – by all means pick that one. We’ll assume since it’s a song you danced to when you were a wee thing that it’s most likely family-appropriate. It doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with dads, daughters, or dancing, but if it’s special to you and your Pops, that’s all that matters. If you’re stumped, go with a song about a good relationship between a dad and a daughter, like “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder or “Gracie” by Ben Folds Five.

Here is a short list I’ve compiled of songs you shouldn’t under any circumstances dance with your dad to at your wedding:

Father Figure by George Michael
I Want Your Sex by George Michael
Actually, stay away from almost every song by George Michael
White Wedding by Billy Idol
Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye
Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye
Come to think of it, stay away from Marvin Gaye, too. His dad did shoot him to death, after all. Bad mojo.
Squeezebox by The Who
Gold Digger by Kanye West (who would undoubtedly jump out from behind the curtains and tell you that the girl who got married there before you danced with her dad better)
Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen
Like a Virgin by Madonna
Justify My Love by Madonna
Brickhouse by The Commodores
You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate
Private Dancer by Tina Turner
Thank Heaven for Little Girls by Maurice Chevalier (trust me, it’s creepy)
Papa Can You Hear Me by Babs (from Yentil – sad song, don’t do it)
Tears In Heaven (about death, dig? don’t do it)
AND
Push It by Salt n’ Pepa

If you can think of more no-no songs, post a comment below. If you want to fight for one of these tunes, do the same!

Worst Wedding Dresses

Wedding Gal — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 21:14:11 +0000

How often is it that the bride’s dress sets the tone of the wedding? Is it not the one thing you’ll remember from the event more than anything else? More often than not, the rest of the wedding decorations revolve around the style and theme of the dress. In a way, the bride’s wedding dress represents her ideals. Some women have dreamed about their wedding dress since they were toddlers. Other women apparently don’t care at all, which would explain most of the atrocities you are about to witness. Just how do you choose a bridesmaid dress?

Some you most likely have seen before, but others I dug a little bit to find. It was challenging to only pick 25 dresses though because of the plethora of horrible designs out there, but I pulled through after wiping the blood from my eyes. I actually had to stop myself at some point because I realized there was a never ending supply of bad dresses. And no, I didn’t put in the pregnant African American girl because she’s wearing a prom dress. Thanks to www.uglydress.com for many of the dresses.

I’m not sure what this looks like more: a electronic device for…um…massage or… Well, it looks like that and nothing else. Sorry.

Is Napoleon in the building?

It’s worth mentioning that this one is made out of thousands of condoms stitched together. So they are ready for the wedding night and how!

In case you couldn’t tell, this one is made out of newspaper.

A slutty wedding for all! I bet the bra can be removed for the topless wedding you always dreamed of.

At least the bridal shower streamers were put to good use after the party.

I would run if I saw this coming down the isle toward me.

I would run screaming if I saw this coming down the isle toward me.

This will hopefully stay in the window…forever, as a warning to all brides-to-be. Yellow is not a good color on a wedding dress.

Let’s hope this is for an indoor wedding or else the bride will also be wearing a beard made of bees.

This “dress” is more for the stripper the night before. Good luck, buddy, she seems the stay-at-home type.

Words do not do this picture justice. Just try to look away. Now imagine if she she jumped.

Nurse, oh nurse. Can you please pull the plug on this wedding dress.

Two outfits in one: a wedding dress and a straight jacket. Lovely.

As ugly as the wedding dress is, the head ornament is a nice distraction. Don’t poke an eye out with that.

Here are some from www.uglydress.com

And now the one you’ve all been waiting for…

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Bad Daughter/Dad Wedding Dance Songs

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Worst Wedding Dresses

Here are some from www.uglydress.com

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