The Difference Between a Wedding and a Marriage

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There are millions of women around the world who yearn to one day have a beautiful wedding. They eagerly want to find “Mr. Right” and be whisked away in his arms and into happily ever after. From dating often; searching on the internet and even going on television shows to fight for their Prince Charming, many women long to hear their very own wedding bells. However, it seems that in today’s society, many women who are so committed to getting married do not comprehend the difference between a wedding and a marriage. Many women and men as well are so fixated with the fantasy of an extravagant wedding that they don’t give much thought to life after the wedding ends and the reception hall closes.

More people need to realize that a wedding is just a ceremony where the “I do’s” take place whereas a marriage is the lifelong partnership between 2 people. A wedding is merely a show that tells the public that a union has been made between 2 people. All shows must end and in this case, when the wedding ends, the marriage comes into play. By understanding the difference between the 2, many more women and men, might begin the think longer and harder about rushing into a marriage. It is something that should not be taken lightly and should be given much thought because after the dream of a fabulous wedding is over, reality begins to knock at the door, just waiting to enter.

In the United States, about 50% of marriages end in a divorce. According to studiesoflove.com, the first 2 years of a marriage are the most crucial. This discovery is an astonishing one being that in the first 2 years of marriage, the “honeymoon” phase should still be in effect. Many believe that the first few years of a marriage should be a great time for a couple because the couple should be enjoying their new lives together as the first time as man and wife. Unfortunately, this belief is not as true as previously thought. How is that?  Why are the first 2 years of a union between 2 people who are suppose to be happily and madly in love so difficult so early in their marriage? That’s just it. The newlyweds are finally in a MARRIAGE. The fun of the wedding is dead. The food, family, friends, laughter, music, decorations, elegant dresses and sophisticated tuxedos are a thing of the past and reality has struck. With the end of the wedding and the beginning of the marriage, many couples begin to realize that they were so in love with the idea of an amazing wedding that they never gave much thought about live after. These couples finally see that they might not actually know or even love their spouse as much as they thought because only desire of a glamorous wedding was what really mattered to them at the time.

Moreover, according to divorce statistics.org, 45%-50% of first marriages end in divorce, 60%-67% of second marriages end in divorce and 70-73% of marriages end in divorce. As you can see, the more marriages that occur between people, the higher their risk of divorcing. One thought for the reason for these statistics are, is because as some people who have been previously married decided to get married again…and again, the thought of love and commitment to their new spouse becomes less and less important. Love and commitment for their new partner are not top priorities anymore. But wait, weddings still are great! The show of your huge diamond ring and your insanely expensive dress and the most beautiful reception that your guests ever saw will definitely leave them in awe. Your already married friends will surely eat their hearts out when they see how much better your wedding is to theirs. This sadly is the thought that millions of soon to be married people, especially women think when they are planning their weddings. With the constant images of how incredible your wedding could possibly be, who has time to think about true love, commitment and the rest their lives with their soul mate? Clearly not many.

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How to Throw a Green Wedding Shower

Green is chic these days, but it’s not an easy road to travel, especially when we’re too excited by the sound of wedding bells.  Contrary to popular thought, throwing an eco-friendly wedding shower doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive.  The following are small changes you can make to standard wedding shower décor, food, and more to make the special day special for the earth, too.

Invitations

• Buy invitations made with recycled paper and printed with vegetable-based inks. Think Green Printing.
• Send postcards so you don’t have to waste paper (or money) on envelopes.
• Alternatively, send e-vites.  With an elegant design, there’s nothing cheesy about them.  For recipients without an email address, give them a good old fashioned phone call.
• Politely announce that you are throwing an eco-friendly shower.  (This can be tricky.  Try not to make too many specific requests, except for the one below.)
• Politely ask guests not to wrap their presents with conventional wrapping paper and to instead use napkins, bandanas, clothing, bath or dish towels, and other reusable items.

Location

• Opt for a room with lots of windows so you can cut down on the electricity bill.  Sunlight is more flattering than fluorescent lighting, anyway.  Alternatively, have the party on a grassy lawn.
• If it rains on the day (grumble, grumble), just use CFLs, compact fluorescent lights, which come in a variety of shades and styles to suit your needs while eating up less energy than incandescent bulbs.

Food, Drink, and Utensils

• Two words: farmers’ market.
• Talk to local growers and discuss what sort of shindig you’re planning.  They’ll be happy to help you with their tried-and-true recipes, organic and fresh flowers, and maybe local wine.
• If you’re already buddy-buddy with the vendors, they might offer you a discount (but try to resist pushing for one; farmers have it rough these days).
• For dishes and utensils, avoid plastic and paper, even if it’s recycled.  The best way to go is by using your own dishes.
• Consignment shops and thrift stores will also have nice dishware and silverware for cheaper prices than many other stores.  (Best of all, you won’t be consuming so much as re-using, making your carbon-footprint smaller.)  Bring the shower into the kitchen when it’s time to clean up instead of throwing plates away.
• Use real napkins instead of paper ones.  Keep them for yourself or wash and present them to the bride.

Décor

• Potted plants like succulents and flowers in terra cotta pots make great centerpieces.  Try to get your plants from the farmers’ market.  Columbia is today the dominant producer of American cut flowers.  That’s a lot of CO2 for a few roses.
• Soy wax candles burn cleaner and longer than conventional candles.  Make sure the wick is lead-free.
• Instead of streamers and balloons, strategically place potted bamboo shoots or even dried stalks in tall vases for an eco-chic feel.
• Sprinkle the tables with flower petals, seeds, or pretty leaves instead of confetti.

Favors and Gifts Ideas

• Organic, fairly traded chocolate
• Homemade and naturally scented soaps (if you’re just not the DIY type, look for a local soap maker on Etsy)
• Organic and cruelty-free beauty products
• Reusable tote bags
• Bamboo kitchen items like cutting boards, spatulas, bowls, and dish towels
• Indoor composters (try the Bokashi bin)
• Cotton or hemp shower curtains

Bio: Alexis Bonari is currently a resident blogger at College Scholarships, where recently she’s been researching federal student loan consolidation as well as teaching MA scholarships. Whenever this WAHM gets some free time she enjoys doing yoga, cooking with the freshest organic in-season fare, and practicing the art of coupon clipping.

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