Your mother-in-law is probably the perfect helper when it comes to planning your wedding, isn’t she? Truth be told, sometimes dealing with family members can be a challenge when planning your wedding, and mother-in-laws are typically the family member you will have a challenge with. If you follow some basic tips you will get more of what you want, have a better relationship with your mother-in-law and be less likely to turn gray while planning your wedding.
She Really Does Mean Well
Mother-in-laws can often be overbearing with their input in your wedding plans. Their son is getting married, and they have their own ideas of what a proper wedding should look like. Remember that most mother-in-laws really do mean well. Keep reminding yourself that when you think she is just trying to butt into your life. It’s better to try and be diplomatic than to start fighting with your new mom.
Make Her Feel Good
Your mother-in-law might mean well but if her plans don’t match up with yours you have a problem. Sit down with your mother-in-law and politely tell her thanks, but no thanks. Tell her nicely that you know what you want and you really appreciate her input. Think of parts of your wedding that she can help with that won’t make a difference on your wedding day. For example perhaps your mother-in-law can be in charge of the out of town guests and can help them plan for their stay. Or assign her the task of helping with the rehearsal dinner. Pick one or two things that are important that she can help with and hopefully she will be too busy working on those tasks, and won’t bother you about more important aspects of the wedding.
If you find yourself constantly arguing with your mother-in-law during the planning process, it may be better to limit your communication so that your differences don’t escalate further. If she calls, send it to voicemail. Send her an email and tell her you missed her call and see if you can communicate that way. Remember that this isn’t a lifetime arrangement. After the wedding the stress level for you and her will deflate and you can work on repairing the relationship.
Planning your wedding is stressful enough and you really don’t need the added tension of arguing with your mother-in-law about the wedding plans. Remember not to make rash decisions that you will regret later. Think before you speak, and try to compromise when possible. If your mother in law is helping pay for the wedding, have a discussion with your new in laws and set the expectations that while you really appreciate the financial help, you have some ideas of how you want your day to be. Your wedding planning is the beginning of the rest of your life with your groom, but also the beginning of the relationship with your mother-in-law. By being diplomatic and avoiding unnecessary fighting with your mother-in-law you will have a better relationship with your groom, as well as your future in-laws.
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According to many wedding industry sources, when couples are putting together their budget, they plan on spending the most on the reception and venue and second most on their photographer. This is how important photography is important to them, because for most people preserving the memories is a close second to creating them.
When you are evaluating a photographer for your big day, there are tons of things to consider. How much experience do they have? What does their portfolio look like? How much do they cost? Will they be able to capture what you’re looking for? Do they use photography studio software that enables them to stay better organized? And what styles of photography are they proficient in?
As far as this last question goes, here are a few of the current styles and trends in wedding photography so you can decide what suits you the best so you can prepare for your conversations with prospective photographers.
1. Photojournalism style – This style is completely candid and is more of a documentary way of shooting a wedding. Few (if any) photos are staged and everything is shot in the moment, where the photographer roams around the ceremony and reception and captures the event as it’s happening. This style is very in vogue and popular among couples.
2. Traditional posed photography – This is the style of photography that your parents probably used in which most photos are staged, with participants facing the camera and smiling or otherwise posing for the photos. This is akin to traditional portrait style and is sometimes used in combination with the photojournalism style.
3. Fashion-shoot style – For brides who can’t get enough of Vogue or Cosmo, this style is for you. It is a much more modern style of shooting, with different camera angles and closeups, fashion-forward poses, unique lighting and lots of finishing touches with photography studio software.
4. Vintage contemporary – Vintage clothing is back in style, and thus the demand for vintage contemporary photography, which is often staged with vintage or throwback props and attire. In addition, photos can be given an antique treatment with photography studio software.
5. Pre-wedding photo shoots – Because the big day can get so jam-packed with events, sometimes it’s a better idea to get some of the photography out of the way early. Because of this, some couples are choosing to have a photo session with their photographer a day or two before the wedding. This is an opportunity to get more causal photos of the couple as well as family members who have arrived for the wedding.
Hopefully this gives you a start on some of the current trends when you’re meeting with photographers.
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Be prepared to personally, yes personally, contact all family members and close friends. A good way to approach this is to think to yourself, “Who would be offended to hear about my engagement from someone else.” It is better to be safe than sorry.
Of course this doesn’t mean you can’t enlist your parents (on both sides) to help you. Some aunts, uncles and 2nd cousins once removed probably don’t mind if they get a call from your parents. One thing to remember is to make sure whoever your parents contact on your behalf are going to be on your guest list. Be firm and don’t let you parents bully you into inviting people you have never met.
Dive and conquer. Let you fiance contact his family and friends and you contact yours. Although both of you should tell your parents together. Moms like that sort of thing.
Be prepared to answer all those questions such as “Where did he propose?”, “When is the wedding?” and most importantly, “How big is the diamond?”
There are many old traditions still visible in today’s modern wedding. One of the most obvious is the best man and groomsmen standing next to the groom during the ceremony. We now see this custom as an opportunity to involve our friends and close family members in our big day, but at one time the groomsmen were seen to guard the bride until she was married to her husband and new protector.
These days the groomsmen often help out with the arrangements and tasks leading up to the wedding, and most importantly keep the groom smiling no matter how stressful the wedding plans get. A modern tradition is that the groom gives each member of his wedding party a gift on the day of the wedding to say thank you for helping out. Whether your groomsmen gifts are traditional or modern is completely up to you.
Traditional groomsmen gifts offer a touch of class and remind us of an era our grandparents might recognize more easily than we would. A watch was a traditional gift for any big occasion, from graduation to retirement. The symbolism of a watch varies depending on your culture, but in North American it’s often seen as a wish for long life.
Other traditional groomsmen gifts are flasks, cufflinks and money clips. While most of use don’t wear shirts with cufflink holes, keep a flask in our hip pocket and prefer a debit card to a wad of cash, the timeless significance of these gifts is what makes them special.
A modern groomsman gift generally reflects the taste of the man receiving it. It could be sports related, like a golf set or a baseball bat engraved with the date of the wedding and the groomsman’s name. For a groomsman who travels frequently a leather carry-on featuring his initials, or a travel case for his grooming kit also makes a thoughtful gift.
No matter which route you choose, traditional or modern, adding personalization to the gift will remind your groomsmen of your big day and the important role they played in it. You can add their monogrammed initials, the wedding date and even the bride and groom’s names to many different types of gifts.
It’s important to think about each of your groomsmen and choose a gift that suits his personality and taste. Choosing the right gift is the best way to show just how well you know the men standing by your side and how much you appreciate them being there for you on your wedding day.
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